A New Dawn
by highlanderprincess
Summary: As a virus spreads across the country, Bella fears she has lost everything. Searching for a cure, she leaves her home behind, traveling into the unknown for the sake of her family. During an attack, Edward loses his girlfriend, Kate, and will do anything to find her. On his journey, he runs into a brunette with her own agenda. E/B. Mature audiences.
1. Chapter 1

**A New Dawn by Highlanderprincess**

 **Summary: As a virus spreads across the country, Bella fears she has lost everything. Searching for a cure, she leaves her home behind, traveling into the unknown for the sake of her family. During an attack, Edward loses his girlfriend, Kate, and will do anything to find her. On his journey, he runs into a brunette with her own agenda. Can they help each other survive or will they succumb to the circumstances of this new world? E/B. Rated mature for violence and sexual content.**

 **Chapter 1: A New Dawn**

 **Five Days after National Outbreak**

 **Edward POV**

The sun is blinding. Squinting my eyes and ignoring the blistering heat, my legs propel me forward - never slowing down; never giving them a chance to catch-up. My hand grips hers. A smile almost tugs on my lips as I feel the beat of her heart thumping against the calloused skin of her palm. She's still here; I'm still here. That's all that matters. In a world full of absolute shit, she's the only ray of light - the only semblance of anything good. Sometimes when I look at her, my eyes captivated by the way her golden hair reflects the sunlight; I think she may just be the only pure thing this world has left.

A scream tears me from my thoughts. Although it's far off in the distance, I know it can only mean they're getting closer. Kate's grip tightens and although I can't spare a moment to look at her, I know there are tears in her beautiful cerulean eyes.

"We're almost there, babe."

A soft sob escapes her lips and I slow my pace to glance over my shoulder. Emerging from the forest is a large group of _them._ I can't bring myself to name them. If I name them, they're real. And if they're real, I'll have to accept this new world as my new reality. _Our new reality._ How can so much change so quickly? Only a few days ago I was waking up to the sound of my obnoxious alarm clock with Kate tightly wrapped in my embrace and now… Now I would give my right arm for a slice of normalcy I once had. I would give anything to go back to my normal job; I would give anything to go back to my normal life.

"Edward, they're coming."

"Don't look. Don't look back," I plead.

"I can't… I can't go much further," Kate says as she gestures to her ankle.

It's swollen. I can tell by the puffiness I see through the thin fabric of her tights. After the way she fell on it yesterday, I'm surprised she's been able to move this far. _God, if only we had someway to fight them off._ I look back over my shoulder at them again. The hair on my body stands as anxiety trickles through my veins, making every inch of my body judder. They're so horrifically captivating. Their fresh corpses carry forward through the field like something out of a nightmare. Their gray flesh is slowly beginning to rot as nature takes its toll on their bodies. Bloodied and broken, they move toward us like broken marionettes, twitching along. It's almost as if God is their puppet master and we're all extras in his unseemly play. I tear my eyes away from them, tugging Kate forward despite her groan of discomfort.

"Please. Can we rest for a moment?"

Between the people who have already lost their damn minds and the living dead, we don't have time to pause. At least, not yet. Not until we find someplace safe. Everyone has been moving toward the local mall nearby. The one place with plenty of supplies and shelter. Allegedly, it hasn't been taken over by _them._ With how quickly everything has deteriorated, I can't confirm its safety… but what really is safe now?

"We're so close, baby. Just a little bit further. Don't you see it?"

"I can't feel my foot. I just need a rest."

The sound of another scream fills the air and despite my own exhaustion, I reach for her, lifting her up and safely into my arms. She groans a little, reaching for her ankle as I carry her the rest of the way, moving across the field as quickly as my feet will manage. More screams sound as I close the distance between us and the mall. As soon as we reach the chain-link fence that's blocking off the back entrance of the mall, I set Kate on her feet and push her toward the diamond-shaped wire mesh.

"We have to climb, baby. The whole thing is surrounded now. The only way in is up."

"You can't be serious. You know I can't."

"What do you want me to do?" I spit out, growing frustrated and helpless, knowing her recent injury puts us both at risk. "The only way to safety is to climb over, Kate. Do you want to turn into one of those things, too?"

"Don't look at me like that."

"Then stop being so foolish and climb!"

Her eyes snap to meet mine and while they're filled with fire, she doesn't comment. Maybe she's just too tired, or maybe she can see that I'm right. This is the only way. With the world becoming more and more bleak, we have to keep chasing after every sliver of hope we can. I bend down to give her a boost, and with one glance over her shoulder, she's quick to climb. As soon as she's halfway up the fence, I begin to climb as well, ignoring the throbbing in my thighs and the numbness in my arms. My fingers shake as they grip the fence. My mind tries to decide if the jitteriness comes from nerves or exhaustion of my muscles, but I'm too weary to decide which as I continue to move. _They_ grow closer and we move faster, although, it feels like we're suspended in time. The world around us is so surreal; I feel as if time has escaped us completely. No matter how quick I attempt to be, I feel as though I'm watching my body move in slow motion - it's like I'm hovering above my body, watching in a distance as I attempt what feels like a great feat.

Inches away from the top of the fence, I feel I can finally breathe again. The air tastes so good - so fresh, despite the dark clouds which loom over us. Peering up at the sky, I feel the wind shift. Rain will fall soon. Kate cries out and my eyes shoot down to discover the horror in hers. Her knuckles are white as she struggles to hang on. Reaching for her, I yank on her jacket, refusing to let her fall.

"We're almost there, baby. Power through for me. Okay? Just a little bit longer."

"I can't."

"Don't say that. We've come this far."

"We haven't even made it out of town," she remarks as her eyes cast down to the muddy ground.

Without another word, I yank on her raincoat, helping her up to the top of the fence. Letting go of her for a moment, I straddle the fence before grabbing her jacket and giving it a gentle yank.

"Use the momentum in your legs to hoist yourself up." When she doesn't move, I spit out a, "Kate," as I yank on her jacket.

Casting one final look to _them,_ she climbs the rest of the way. Straddling the fence, she looks at me, her fear of heights slowly creeping in.

"Don't look down."

"Isn't that a little hard to do?" She giggles.

Music to my ears. I smile at her, unable to help myself. As the world crumbles around us, she still finds a way to tease me. Everything is going to shit and yet, she can make me smile. She's always had the ability to make me smile when no one else could. It's one of the things I love about her the most. And in this moment, I know we will be okay. The entire world may be falling apart but I have her. Maybe love is truly all powerful. Maybe love can get us through this hell.

"Are you ready?"

She nods, smiling at me. When her gaze doesn't leave my face, I question, "What is it?"

"Nothing." She shrugs. "I'm just lucky, I guess."

"Lucky? Only you would talk about luck at a time like this. How on earth are you lucky?"

"You." Her lips curl into a soft smile. "I have you."

 **A/N: Guys, I went to TFMU and saw Damsel and came up with this entire fic in my head for some odd reason (since Damsel has nothing to do with zombies lol) and I just couldn't write anything else until I got this out. This story is going to be pretty short (compared to my other ones) and I've prewritten basically the entire thing before posting (which is new for me). After this my plan is to finish Rodeo Nights and A Rogue's Desire while also finishing the first draft of the second book in my Colorado Series (Yay!). Before anyone flames me for writing a new story in the reviews, just know that I plan on finishing all of my stories. So, every story I post will be completed.**

 **Giant thanks to Sherry and Paige for betaing (is that a word?) story for me! Also, thanks to Trina Smusic Patterson for listening to me ramble on and on about this idea.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy! And like always, please take a second to review. I might be pretty bad at replying to them, but I do read every comment and they mean the world to me. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: A Quiet Place**

 **Five Days After National Outbreak**

 **Bella POV:**

The quiet is what weighs on me more than anything. The clock on the wall drives me mad as it produces the only sound in the room. It shouldn't be so quiet. For the first time in days, I try to enjoy the silence. Locked away in the closet, I feel like a coward. _It should have been me._ Staring at the closet door, I wonder if it's finally over. I don't hear them anymore. For days it's been horror. The sounds of screams, splatters, scratches, shredding, and stabbing have ceased, leaving me riddled with anxiety. I used to enjoy the sound of silence and now it does nothing but put me on edge. _You can do this, Bella. You can't stay in here forever._

The light hits my face, blinding me as I slowly push the closet door open. My muscles are numb, barely working as I rise to my knees and crawl out. That's when I hear it; my little boy's whimpers. They have me moving at lightning speed. I ignore the ache in my knees as I go to him. He needs me. He and Jake need me and I can't let them down. Not again. They're just where I left them. Using the wall for support, I rise to my feet and limp across the room to my kitchen table. The look in their eyes makes my skin crawl. They've seen so much - been through so much - but they're still here.

"Sweetie, Mommy's here now. You don't have to worry anymore."

Seth's eyes are filled with tears. When he looks up at me, I barely recognize him. His dark blue eyes are so clouded now; they're not the eyes I remember. However, nothing is how I remember it. This is a new world and I'll have to learn to accept the changes, drastic as they may be. Regardless of the difference in his appearance, Seth is still my son and I will forever be his mother. I couldn't abandon him if I tried. He will always be in my heart; he will always be in my mind. Same with Jake, who is now a shadow of the man he once was. I regard him for a moment, taking in the new shape of his head and the dried blood which is almost artfully splattered on his tanned face. His cloudy eyes stare straight through me and his mouth, which would always curl into a smile when he saw me, now hangs open in a contorted snarl.

I move my gaze back to my son, squatting down so he can look into my eyes. He turns his head, and while his eyes meet mine, he doesn't see me. I wonder if he still knows who I am. Tears fill my eyes at the realization that my little boy may no longer recognize me. He may be lost to me forever. My fingers reach out to trail the skin of his face, enjoying the softness while ignoring its new imperfections.

"Mommy loves you, baby."

His scream makes me cringe and his tiny hand reaches out to grab my wrist. The chains hold him in place.

"I'm going to save you. I promise."

He snarls at me, biting and snapping at the air as he attempts to reach me.

"I promise, Seth. I promise." Turning to my husband, I promise him, too. "Jake, I'll be back. I promise, I'll be back."

He snarls in response, thrashing in the chair as he bites in my direction. It's been like this for days. I couldn't bare it. Seeing someone I love more than my own life suffering is not something I want to accept as truth. I keep pinching myself, believing this all to be one horrid nightmare that I'll soon wake-up from. But, of course, it isn't and no matter how frequently I try to wake-up, nothing changes. There's nothing to awaken from. There's nothing but this: a life I'm unwilling to accept.

Crossing the room, I turn the dial on the radio, surprised it still works. The staticky sound of voices fills the room and Seth cries out, irritated by the noise. His eyes dart around the room, hungry as he searches for the source of the sound. The carnal look in his eyes makes my stomach turn. It takes all my strength to keep my mind focused on the radio and not the future of my little boy. There has to be a cure. There just has to be. This can't be the end. A three year old with his entire life ahead of him can't slip through my fingers. I have to save him; I have to save my husband.

" _Gather what you can and keep on the move. Move North. If you can, join us in DC. We may have found an answer. It's early, but we have to get this virus under control now. While we still can. Before more lives are lost. Before we barely recognize each other."_

The male voice continues to give out instructions, but I've tuned them out DC. I have to make it to DC and find whatever hope is left. I should have known this would happen. The virus broke out last month in Texas but the whole world thought it was contained. A five-year-old girl had been hit by a car and died in the hospital. Or at least, she coded. The entire hospital staff was shocked when she "reanimated" minutes later. Her eyes opened, but she was no longer "her." She wasn't the girl who died… she was the girl who woke up. And the girl who woke up was a monster. She bit a nurse, tearing some of the flesh of her neck before some of the staff was able to tie her to the bed. I watched the video on the news - the whole world did - and I would have been terrified if it weren't for the news a few days later. They claimed it was a "freak accident" at first. Weeks later that "freak accident" or "isolated incident" became the _virus_. Virus HN79 - the "zombie virus." Of course, professionals don't refer to it as such, but the rest of the world does.

" _Don't go out at night. Stay out of populated cities. Try to move in groups. Carry on with purpose. This isn't the time to get lost. Gather as much food as you can and move North."_

"I'll come back for you, Jake," I whisper, not trusting the sound of my own voice.

He snarls in response. Going upstairs, I quickly pack a bag for the road. While I'm scared to travel alone, I know there's no other way. I don't know who I can trust. No one trusts anyone anymore. I could be robbed… God, I don't even what to think about what else could happen. I've listened to reports on the radio - the last working station in Albuquerque - and I cringed as they talked about robbery, rape, and even a case of cannibalism. In a matter of days, the world has completely fallen apart. I can't imagine what the world will look like after a month of this. It has to end. It has to end soon.

I slip into a new pair of yoga pants, running shoes, a tank top, and the sweatshirt I wear when I go on my runs, before throwing my hair up in a ponytail. I pack all of the workout clothes I can find, knowing all I'll be doing is walking (if I'm lucky), and jog back down to the kitchen, gathering all the food and water I can find and carry. Before I leave, I take one final look at my home and family. The place and people I thought I would be with until my dying day. I thought I would grow old here with my husband. When we bought this house, we believed we had a lifetime of happiness to look forward to. _How wrong we all were._

"Good-bye, love," I whisper to Jake before turning my attention to my little boy. "Mommy will be back. I promise you."

I vow to them both and myself. I'll come back to New Mexico someday. I'll come back to my home if it's the last thing I do.

 **A/N: This story will move back and forth between Edward's POV and Bella's POV with each chapter. So, any theories on how Jake and Seth were chained? Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Taken**

 **32 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **EPOV:**

The sun filters through the windows of the sporting goods store, awakening me from my dream. I dreamed of my old life, my old job, and my family. I dreamed of making love to Kate in our bed. I allow myself another moment of relaxation before I open my eyes fully and peer around the camping section of the store Kate and I have been staying in. It's not relaxing here, but it feels safe. However, I feel guilty for feeling safe when I know the world is falling apart outside of these walls. People are dying, _children_ are dying, and I'm lying here with Kate in my embrace, forgetting about all else.

She stirs in my arms, awakened by the daylight as well. Her eyelids flutter and she groans against my bare chest. When she finally does look up at me, I remember why I'm doing this. I remember why I continue to fight each day. I do it for her. She's the only good thing in my life. The only person worth living for. Everything else is darkness.

I've stopped listening to the radio, knowing it will only bring pain. Thankfully, everyone I have in my life is here. They all made it. Kate and my few close friends. My parents passed away a few years ago and for the first time, I'm thankful for that. They were lucky not to see the world fall apart.

"I don't want to go out today," Kate comments, nuzzling my chest.

"Maybe you don't have to. I can go."

"Can't we both stay here? Let the others look for medicine. We can just sleep the day away."

"I wish, but we have to do our part, Kate."

"I know. Can we at least have a good morning?"

Before I can answer, her mouth is on my neck and her hands are running up and down the planes of my body. I'm hard in an instant. I'm always yearning for her, but lately, making love feels like the only thing keeping me sane. When I'm thrusting inside of her, everything else seems to fade away. If only for a moment.

**A New Dawn**

My mouth lazily runs over the curves of her breasts, enjoying the aftereffects of our orgasms. I watch her tits as they jiggle with every breath she takes. Watching the rise and fall of her chest provides me with such a profound sense of comfort. In my arms, I know she's safe. In this section of the store, I feel like nothing can hurt us. Here, the world outside doesn't exist. There's only us.

"I wish it could always be just like this."

"It could. One day, it will. I promise."

"You make a lot of promises."

"Well, I intend to keep them all."

"Some promises no one can keep."

Her smile drops and her body stiffens beneath mine. I hate seeing her like this. I would do anything to take her pain away. I kiss her nipple and she smiles. Or at least, tries to smile. For my sake, I'm sure.

"I won't let you down."

"I know."

"Edward!"

I turn my head at the sound of Paul's voice. With his eyes cast respectfully down, he waits for me. While he's trying to be patient, I can practically feel his agitation from across the room. I quickly dress and motion for Kate to do the same as I cross the room to meet him.

"Paul, what is it?"

"A group found us."

"What do you mean? Is that bad?"

"They want this place for themselves. They already killed Sam when he tried to step in."

"So, what? We need to leave?"

"We were going to fight. We have knives. We have guns. This place is safe. We can't let someone come and take it from us."

I shoot a glance at Kate, finding her now wide awake and sitting up fully clothed. Her eyes are wide with horror as she listens to our childhood friend. Paul has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. My mother and her best friend became pregnant at the same time twenty-seven years ago and the rest is history. He's my brother. Not by blood, but by spirit. I couldn't imagine a day without him.

"Are you sure we have to fight? Don't you think we can-"

"What? Hide? No, we can't do that. We have to stand our ground."

I nod, understanding. We can't hide now. We can't show weakness. Not at a time like this. Turning away from Paul, I walk across the room to our small stash of weapons. Everyone here has their own bundle of knives and guns. One of the many perks of hiding out in a mall with a sporting goods store, I guess. I'm quick to load two of my four guns and throw on a holster, stashing them there before loading a gun for Kate.

"I can't do this," she whispers as her eyes fixate on the pistol in my hands.

"You have to, Kate. Even if you just want to hide, you have to have a way to defend yourself."

"You think they're going to…"

"We have to be ready."

Her eyes dart around the room before she utters, "I'll stay here. I'll hide. I can't fight. I'm not a fighter, you know that."

I nod. Bending down, I press my lips against hers, savoring the moment. In a world like this, I never know when a kiss from her could be my last. _This won't be the last. This can't be._ I slip my tongue inside of her mouth, toying with hers and enjoying the soft sound of her moan. I want her again. I want to make love to her until everything else fades away. But I don't - I can't.

"I'll be back soon," I say as I pull away. Unable to help myself, I press a quick kiss to her forehead before adding, like always, "I love you. I love you more than my own life."

"I love you, too. Forever."

"Forever."

"Wait for me?"

"Of course." As I turn to leave, she grabs ahold of my sleeve. "Be safe," she adds in a whisper.

"Always."

I tear my eyes away from her, trying not to let my worry for her cloud my judgment surrounding what will soon happen. I follow Paul out of the sporting goods store and onto the crosswalk leading to the rest of the stores on the second floor. He grabs a shotgun he stashed behind one of the mall's dead plants and leads me toward the escalator.

"They're on the first floor. Marcus was holding them back but I don't know how much longer he and everyone else will manage before they break through to the rest of the mall."

"How many have died?"

"I don't know. Maybe ten people. We only lost three. But three is already too many. We have to end this."

"How many of those people are left?"

"When I saw them I thought there must have been around thirty in their group. But I'm not sure. They may have more people out there somewhere… waiting."

Paul jogs down the powered down escalator and I'm quick to follow, my eyes scanning the area to make sure we aren't being watched. I knew this day would come. I knew eventually another group would arrive. However, I didn't imagine bloodshed. I thought they would come in peace. With everything going on in the world, with the virus and the death and destruction that followed, I thought people would want to band together, not turn against each other.

"Some of us have setup in the food court. They weren't far away when I left to find you. Keep your eyes open. We'll make it through this."

"I know. We will. We have to."

Paul nods and leads me past the lines of stores toward the food court in the center of the mall. Everything along the way is a blur. All I notice is the anger building within me as I contemplate a group of people wanting to steal the only home we have. Over the past few weeks, this building has become everything. Without it, I'm sure the lot of us would be dead… or worse, infected. Now we have more than the virus to worry about, we have something much scarier: people. God knows the horrible things humans are capable of doing. What else is there to really fear when you consider that?

Just as I open my mouth to speak, I see them. Or at least, I see _some_ of them. They look normal; I don't know what else I was expecting. Was I expecting some sort of heathens? They're just normal men and a few women, dressed in everyday clothes. The only thing that separates them from everyone else is the vicious looks on their faces. Perhaps they think killing us is the only way for them to survive. _Whatever. I don't give a flying fuck._ If it's us against them, it's us against them. I'll do anything to protect what's mine. Kate's waiting for me, and I'll do whatever it takes to protect her and save myself.

"You ready?"

I nod just as the first shot goes off. A man dressed in jeans and a black shirt rushes toward us, his beard ragged and his eyes wild as he points his gun in Paul's direction. Before my mind can register what my body is doing, I bring my gun up, aim, and shoot. Three rounds go into his chest, blood splatters everywhere as he falls to his knees before face-planting on the ground. He's not breathing, and without a word, we carry on.

Screams and the sounds of gunfire fill the air as I sneak into the cafeteria. My gun is up, waiting for someone to cross my path. The fact that I've killed a human being trickles into my mind but my adrenaline pushes it away. I'll grieve later; I'll feel fucked-up later. I don't have the time for it now. If killing is what I have to do to survive, I'll become numb to it. I'll do what I have to, just like any other survivor does. If that means doing everything possible just to stay alive, I will.

Another man runs toward me with malice on his face and a gun pointed in my direction. I don't even feel like myself as I put a bullet in him. I feel absent in my own body as another man rushes me and I shoot him down. One after another, and I don't feel a thing. I don't even have a moment to think about it as I walk into the bloodshed. When I do have a moment, I look for Paul. While I care about everyone in our group, he's my brother - therefore he's the one I want to protect most of all in this situation. He's fighting for his life across the room. His gun is a few feet away and a man is on top of him. As soon as I see the knife against Paul's throat, I sprint across the room. My feet can't carry me fast enough. My heart pounds in my chest and time seems to standstill as I jump on top of his attacker, lining up my gun with his head.

"Get the fuck off of me, you fucker!"

He flips me onto the ground, taking my breath away and stunning me momentarily. He turns on his side, now looking down at me with the same crazed look he gave Paul. I can see the one thing he cares about above all else lurking in his eyes: survival. Doesn't he understand there could be another way? Doesn't he see that the killing could all be unnecessary? Sweat from his face drips down onto my own. He reeks of mud and body odor, leaving me to wonder how long this group has been on the road. Desperation practically seeps through his pores as he holds the knife tightly in his grip, his knuckles turning white from the stress. Paul rises behind him, but the man doesn't seem to notice; his focus is now on me.

Paul reaches for his gun and I look the man dead in the eye. "You don't have to do this. We can come together. _Help_ each other."

"Fuck you, you-"

Paul's gun sounds and a bullet flies through the man's head. Blood splatters me in the face and I watch in horror as the man sways above me before crashing onto me, crushing me against the tiled floor of the food court. I reach for my gun, which had slipped out of my hand, and grip it tightly as I shove the heavy man aside. Wiping the blood off of my face, I hear a cry in the distance.

"You fucker! You killed my fucking brother!"

My eyes dart to the sound of the new voice and as I see a gun rising, pointing in my direction, I shoot. He drops to the ground like a fly. I can't believe I've become numb to killing so quickly. Of course, this could all start to sink in once we're safe. Alone at night, these deaths could easily color my thoughts. Knowing me, I'm sure they will. This will all be a bitter pill to swallow, but swallow it, I certainly will. I have to, for my sake. And for Kate's sake, as well.

"I think they're leaving," I hear Paul comment with a groan.

I turn to look at him, eyes widening as I take in the sight of his bruised face. Blood colors his shirt, but it's not his own. It's the blood of the people we killed today. Bending over, I vomit my guts out. I throw up until there's nothing left. I hear Paul shooting. I hear bodies fall to the ground and listen until I begin to dry heave.

"We have to move, brother. Follow my lead. I think they're going back to wherever the fuck they came from."

I nod, wiping the vomit from my mouth as I follow after him. We dart through the cafeteria and down the hallway, shooting the intruders along the way. They're frantic, we're frantic, but I know soon, this will all end. Just like everything in this world does. More people will come eventually I'm sure, but after this, we will be ready for them. Unlike today, we will be prepared. _God, I hope Kate is all right._

"We have to go guard the door!" Paul shouts, shooting the last few men he sees.

My legs manage to carry me forward and I have my gun ready to go. I rush toward the door, knowing that every last intruder in here will have to die. Unless they can turn; unless they see reason. Which at this point, I doubt they will. Once people get something stuck inside their heads, it's hard to get them to change their minds. I knew that long before things went to shit and it seems even more true today.

As I continue to run, I begin to notice the pounding of footsteps behind me. Whatever is coming, is coming fast. Maybe it's one of our men coming to help, but somehow I doubt it, if that were true, I'm sure they would have called out to us. Whoever is approaching hasn't uttered a word. I turn my head to look and my world quickly falls to pieces. Something crashes into my shoulder, it feels like someone slammed into me with a baseball bat or someshit like that. It's hot, like the worst sunburn I ever had. My shoulder's on fire - fucking fire - and when my eyes drop to look, all I see is the gaping wound.

"Fuck, Edward! Stay with me! Keep your eyes open, Brother."

I hear him in the distance, like he's screaming at me at the end of a very long tunnel. I turn to him, wanting to tell him that I'm okay, but I can't seem to form the words. Everything grows darker like the world is closing in around me. I hear another gunshot, but this time, I don't feel any pain.

"Stay with me! Stay fucking with me!"

I hear Paul's voice as my world fades to black.

 **A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying my NaNoWriMo project! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: A Forgotten World**

 **36 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **Bella POV:**

The sun beats down on my burned skin. I don't care anymore. Ignoring the discomfort, I continue my stride. The idea of walking to DC is a ridiculous one. Not only ridiculous, but completely freaking impossible, which is why I'm moving toward the city. There's bound to be a better selection of cars there. There's bound to be _something._ Fuck, I'd take anything. My desperation grows by the minute. Knowing my husband and toddler are awaiting my return absolutely shatters me. Although my journey so far hasn't really been long, I feel that I'm already losing hope. I can't very well hijack a plane and fly to DC. The only method available is driving… or walking if my string of bad luck continues.

Everytime I rev up a car engine, I attract trouble. I attract _them_ : trouble of the very worst kind. At first, I was terrified when I had to face them. Of course, I managed to kill them and move on, but that didn't make the entire ordeal any less horrifying. Just picturing them in my mind now makes me want to throw up. I've moved from car to car on my journey to get across state lines and none of the vehicles have lasted very long. The ones that were promising, eventually ran out of fuel, forcing me to move onto another. I don't know how much of this I can take. Everything has turned to shit so quickly. I feel like I'm wading in deep, dark waters, trying desperately not to drown or get washed away.

Wiping the sweat from my brow, I carry on, finding another abandoned car further up the road. The blisters on my feet have become so numb, they're barely noticeable. The aches, pains, and irritations that once plagued me are now in the very back of my mind. The only thought I entertain is the idea of survival. My survival and the survival of my family. Nothing else is important.

With my eyes on the prize ahead, I limp toward the car, pulling my crowbar out of my backpack along the way. _One step closer, Bella._ As I bust the back car door window out, I reflect on how jaded I already feel. It shouldn't be like this… should it? I've come so far but feel no different. Every day is the same; wake-up, search for food, move forward… always moving forward. Walking and walking but feeling as if I'm remaining stagnant. My body aches but my mind is still in the past - back home with the two people I love more than my life. That's why I'm doing this; _they're_ why I'm doing this.

My little boy is in the forefront of my mind as I hotwire the car. His smile, his kind eyes, and his heartwarming remarks stay with me as I face the darkness. Just as the car roars to life, I hear them coming in the distance. There's a few of them; they sound hungry. The hair on the back of my neck stands up as my body shivers with agitation and despair. I should be numb to this by now. Killing shouldn't make a difference… but it does. Luckily, killing has gotten far easier. I don't cringe as I once did. Before, the thought of taking another life - even if the life was questionable - was abhorrent. Now… now all I care about is myself. Perhaps they could be saved, but I can't save them all on my own. I don't have the strength to safely lock them up like I did my son and husband. So, instead I fight back.

Swinging open the driver's side door, I grab my crowbar and slide out to stand on the street. _This is the only way, Bella. Remember who you're doing this for._ I think of Jake as I take my first swing. I hit it right in the face. Its eye gushes as the crowbar digs in, fluid running down his molting cheeks. The fluids mixed with blood splatter back into my face, but I don't have a moment to spare as another one of those things approaches me. Pulling the crowbar out of the first one's head, I take a deep breath, preparing myself before plunging it into the other's. It spasms and continues to reach for me; yanking the crowbar away from his head, ignoring the goo that trails along with it, I tighten my core and swing again, this time shattering it's skull. A small part of me feels guilty for this, but the rest of me is coursing with loads of adrenaline and doesn't give a shit. I need to get moving. I'll never make it to D.C. at this rate. With the crowbar lodged in it's skull, I let go and pull out my gun from my husband's holster, shooting them both down before retrieving my first weapon. I wipe the crowbar off on the grass, cleaning it the best I can before taking it back to the running car. Although I hate killing, I can't ignore the release it brings. For a few moments, I feel like I'm in control of my own destiny. I feel like the universe isn't in charge as I end the threatening lives around me. It's blissful in a strange way. _Jesus. What the fuck is wrong with you, Bella?_

Ignoring my conscience, I turn the dial on the radio as I put the car in drive. Of course, it's only static, so as the car moves on down the road, I rifle through the previous owner's CD collection and smile as I find the _Pixies._ As Black Francis's voice fills the car, I feel my entire body relax. _You can do this. You got this, Bells._ Tears fill my eyes as I remember my father, who unfortunately - or now _fortunately_ , I suppose - died a long time ago. He used to say that to me whenever I was afraid or found myself experiencing self-doubt. " _You got this, Bells. You can do anything you set your mind to."_ I smile at the memory of him. A feeling of warmth washes over me as I see his smiling face so vividly in my mind. I remember the way his mustache would feel against my cheek when he hugged me; I remember the way he always made me feel safe.

I wipe my tears away, knowing I have to be strong. I don't have time to cry… not yet. Maybe one day, when everything is safe and the world is back to normal, I can sit back and cry over all that I've done. But that day is not today. That day is not even close. Part of me wonders if it will ever come.

 **A/N: I'm so glad you guys are liking this so far! I'm totally obsessed with this short story! Only 14 more chapters to go! See you tomorrow!**

 **P.S. Please review! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Waking Up**

 **42 Days Since the National Outbreak**

 **EPOV:**

My eyes flutter open to darkness. The faint sounds of groaning in the distance is the only thing that fills my ears. I turn my head, searching for her and come up empty. _Shouldn't she be here?_ She's always by my side. Maybe she walked off for a moment… maybe she'll come back. The image of her beautiful smile and blonde hair fills my mind. I imagine her as reality slowly trickles in. While there are noises, they're definitely not human. The living dead is the only thing here. The logical part of me understands this, despite the fuzziness in my head.

Slowly, I sit up and my jaw drops at the sight before me. Carnage everywhere; destruction everywhere. Bodies of my friends litter the floor and blood colors the walls. _They_ are dead, too. However, that doesn't make me feel better. I feel the tears on my cheeks before I realize I'm crying. Rising to my knees, I crawl across the ground until I reach Aro, one of the first friends I made here. If it weren't for his green eyes, still wide open, I don't know if I would recognize him. Reaching forward, I close his eyes and turn away, looking out to see who else we lost. Truly, there's only one person I'm looking for: Kate. With my heart in my throat, my eyes scan the room. I can barely breathe as I look from one body to the next. They're all male… except one. I exhale as I find that the one female body isn't her, but that doesn't stop the tears from continuing. The woman on the floor, Tanya, was a mother of two. A sob breaks through my lips as I look at her. Her children are both so young - so in need of a mother. I wonder where they are now.

I stand from the floor and weakly stagger out of the cafeteria, looking for Kate. She could be anywhere. She could still be in the sporting goods store for all I know. The pain in my shoulder is nothing compared to the pain of losing her. My disorientation nearly brings me to my knees. Nausea sweeps over me, but I continue to slowly move, reaching up to put pressure on my wound. I'm shocked I'm alive… I should be dead. If not from the bullet, from the blood loss. I should be dead, joining the many scattered bodies on the floor. Tears continue to flow as I make my way down the hallway, passing shop after shop… body after body… until I reach the place I last saw her. Just looking at the store brings a wave of hope I can't ignore. Perhaps she's still there, waiting for my return. Maybe she was just too frightened to leave. I don't blame her; our safe haven has quickly become a horror house. One step at a time, I enter the store and look for her face, wanting to bask in its warmth more than anything.

"Kate?!"

Nothing.

"Baby? You in here, sweetheart?"

Not a sound… until… It comes from around the corner, apparently hiding among the tents until it heard me. Standing completely still, I stare at it, shock overwhelming me as I recognize the decomposing face. Caius… except, he's not himself… he's _changed_. I feel sick as I look at him. I know what I must do. This kill will be different. I know him. He was my friend. This isn't just some nameless face, for once, I see this _thing_ as a person. A person I used to talk to; a person I used to share my time with. I reach for my gun, to find it missing. Looking around the room for inspiration, I come across a steel baseball bat and run toward it before I have a chance to consider the trauma this will soon bring.

I watch him as he approaches, looking through me without a single trace of recognition. Grabbing the bat, I wait for him, not having the stomach to run toward him and end this all now. As I stand watching him, the worst thought imaginable enters my mind. _What if he got to Kate? What if she's… No, that's impossible. She couldn't be. Could she?_ If I found Kate like this… God, I can't even begin to imagine what I would do. I wouldn't be able to do what I'm about to do, that's for sure. I would let her kill me. A world without her is not something I want to experience. Especially a world like this.

"I'm so sorry, Caius," I say as he reaches me. I know he can't hear me. I guess I'm apologizing more for my own sake. "Caius…"

A horrifying scream escapes his torn mouth as he bends forward to chomp at me. I swing the bat, not looking as I hear the steel crash against his skull. He cries out again and I swing once more in response. I hear a _thud_ and look to find him spasming on the floor. Blood colors my shoes and I quickly step away before my sneakers are drenched. "I'm sorry," I whisper then continue to look for my girl.

I call out her name; I search high and low. All of my efforts lead to nothing. She's nowhere to be seen. _What if something happened to her… ? No, Edward. You can't think that way. It's too early to tell._ With the bat in hand, I leave the store and walk aimlessly throughout the mall, looking for her and coming up empty. The only thing I find is more of _them._ People I knew, now my enemy. I can't stomach it. I need to get the hell out of here for my sanity's sake. However, the knowledge that Kate could still be here keeps me from leaving. I wouldn't be able to stomach myself if I left without thoroughly checking the whole mall for her. She could be hiding somewhere right now, waiting for me to swoop in and save her. I can't let her down. I never have in the past and I never intend on doing it in the future.

" _Do you understand how much I love you?"_

" _No, but you always remind me."_

" _Whatever's happening… it's not going to change us, Kate."_

" _I know," she responds as she stares into the fire._

 _I abandon the food preparation and crawl toward her, wanting to feel her warmth. She opens her arms to me immediately and I nearly fall into her embrace. We've been walking aimlessly for so long, following others who are just as misguided as we are. Kate's grown weary, and so have I. I may not be certain about much in this world - but I'm certain about her._

" _Do you still want to… ?"_

" _Start a family? I don't know. I think now we have to put all of our plans on hold. I don't want to bring_

 _baby into this… world, it just wouldn't be ethical. We barely understand the world we're living in now. We can't become parents."_

 _Saying the words feels crazy to me. Just days ago, we were planning for a future. Now I wonder if that future will ever come. Maybe one day there can be more than the two of us, but for now, all I think about is our survival._

I wipe the wetness off my cheeks as I continue to look, thinking of her every step of the way. With every second that passes, I become more and more doubtful. As ridiculous as it sounds, part of me believes I would have _felt_ her if she was nearby. I would feel a sign… I think I would feel _something_. But, as I walk around this quiet, abandoned mall, I feel nothing. That doesn't stop me from continuing on. One step at a time, I search for her, following the old tiles indicating mall walker lanes as I look in one store and then another. Following the bright, neon-colored trail toward the end of the hallway, I nearly topple over myself when an old _Toys 'R Us_ comes into view. _I can spare a few moments for nostalgia's sake, can't I?_ I know my girl well and if she were to venture anywhere, it would be there. Despite not having children of our own yet, she loved looking at toys and children's games. Planning for the future, I suppose. I loved watching the way her eyes would light up at the littlest things. She's so young at heart - never losing sight of her fun-loving nature and creativity. She would make a perfect mother one day. Someone as caring and loving as her deserves a big family. And I'd do anything to give it to her. _I just have to find her first._

As I take a step inside the store, I think maybe we don't have to wait to start a family. Maybe a child would bring us the joy we're currently lacking. _That's a selfish reason to bring a child into this world._ While I realize it's a poor idea, it doesn't stop me from dreaming. I can dream of a better life, can't I? I can dream of a future where everything was what it once was. Walking through the store, taking in the brightly colored ads and rows and rows of various toys, I pretend that I've traveled back in time to before all of this shit happened. I close my eyes for a moment, remembering the man I was not too long ago, and open them up to my fantasy. I imagine Kate's just a few aisles over and I'm wandering around on my own.

I remember coming here as a kid. I remember running through the aisles as my dad trailed reluctantly behind me. I remember having the chance to pick out the "perfect toy" and grinning like a fool as my dad gave me just enough change to buy stickers or gum from the prize machines by the exit. I didn't have tons of friends growing up and I was the only child, so in some ways, toys were all I had. I think that's why my dad was so generous when it came to shopping and spending money on me. I had hoped to watch my own child run around these aisles one day, but I suppose that's impossible now. It's so strange - seeing something you once loved collapse like this. This place once held such wonder and now it's an empty shell… just like everything else.

Turning down the aisle of stuffed animals, I come across a small stuffed giraffe and grab it, planning on putting it in my backpack before I leave. _For the future._ I leave the store after thoroughly looking for her, my shoulders slumped with disappointment. _Maybe she really is gone?_ Just the thought of her out there somewhere scared and by herself makes me want to vomit. Is she still alive? Is she all right? Hopefully, Paul has her. Hopefully, he's keeping her safe.

Feeling more defeated than ever, I head back to the sporting goods store. I need to gather supplies and get a move on. Maybe they left me a clue as to where they're headed. I doubt they had time to leave me a message here, but maybe they managed to leave one somewhere on the road. That is, if they had hope for my survival. _Did they leave me behind because they believed the gunshot I received killed me? It looks a lot worse than it actually is. Does Kate believe I perished in all of this?_ Trying not to think about it, I carry on, returning to the store and retrieving my go-bag and a small tent for shelter. Afterward, I grab the few guns and ammunition that are left and move to find whatever food has been left behind.

The food is scarce. It seems that whoever was still left after the raid had time to gather our rations before leaving. I grab the protein bars, a few bags of discarded chips, and a Rice Krispy Treat before looking for water. All I find is one bottle, which had rolled under a table and been forgotten. I nearly rip off the lid and take a long sip. As the realization hits me that this is my _only_ water, I stop drinking. I have to make it last. I'll only drink when necessary from now on. I have to - it's the only way. However, I realize I still need to clean my wound.

I search for some medical supplies and retrieve the bottle of peroxide, gauze pads, and a couple of extra large band-aids from an abandoned first-aid kit. I sit down to prepare my items, and then pull back my shirt. I pour some peroxide over the wound, gritting my teeth as my skin feels like it's fucking on fire. Thankfully, the bullet went straight through, exiting on the backside of my shoulder. After I'm satisfied it's cleaned well enough, I apply some triple antibiotic ointment and bandage it. Packing everything up in my bag, I replace my shirt before rising to my feet, readying to move out.

Before I leave, I turn to give the mall one last goodbye. Standing near the automatic doors, which have been shattered during the raid, I allow myself a moment to appreciate the memories I made in this once well-loved shopping center. My eyes scan over the dead mall plants, the empty shops, and the carousel which will never be in working order again. This was home for a short while. In this place, I felt safe. As I say goodbye to the mall, I feel as though I'm saying goodbye to so much more. I'm saying goodbye to all of the things I didn't have the courage to admit were gone. I know once I step over the shattered glass of the automatic doors threshold, my life will be different. Although, I suppose in a world like this, change is something I should just learn to accept. This is a new world, and I'm just living it.

"I'll find you, Kate," I say to the empty space before me. "I'll find you. I promise."

 **A/N: I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this story! I'm also super happy that some of you, despite hating zombie fics, have decided to give this one a try! Please keep reviewing! :)**

 **Next chapter, our two main characters finally meet! See you tomorrow!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Fresh Faces**

 **46 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **BPOV:**

The sounds of rustling wake me up. My eyes shoot open and my hand grabs for my knife as I flip onto my back, looking in the direction of the sound. Even in the ink black darkness, I can see his figure looming over me. He's watching me, his eyes skittish as he removes his hand from my backpack. Sitting up, I make sure he sees my knife in hand as I meet his eyes. His eyes are a green so dark, they look as black as the night surrounding us, and soulful, for a moment, I'm captivated by them. There's a strange electricity between us which throws me for a moment. My eyes flutter as I bring my attention back to the matter at hand. He's trying to rob me of the few supplies I have left, and I can't let that happen, regardless of this strange energy between us.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I bite out, sounding far stronger than I feel.

"I'm sorry..." he stutters out. "I thought you were asleep."

Choking on a laugh, I reply, "So you were going to rob me while I slept? That's so much better." I roll my eyes in disbelief. Although, I don't know why I'm surprised. Far worse is happening in the world than this. Just listening to stories of other people's misfortunes on the police scanner I found causes me to feel grateful. With stories of cannibalism circulating, I shouldn't be too horrified by the idea of someone robbing me while I sleep. However, that doesn't soothe the anger boiling inside of me. I thought with all the shit flying around, we would find a way to band together instead of practicing the "every man for himself" mentality.

"Look, I'm fucking desperate. I haven't had a sip of water since yesterday morning. What the hell do you want me to do?"

"Not steal from me. That's what I'd like you to do."

I watch his shoulders slump in the darkness and suddenly, I feel disappointed in myself. This isn't me. However, it seems this is what I've become. It's a hard, unforgiving world out here and I guess I have to be hard and unforgiving, too. It's the only way to stay alive, isn't it? Since I left home, I've been alone and I'd like to keep it that way. I know some people like to stick together, but I feel being alone helps strengthen my chances of survival a great deal. If I'm alone, no one can take advantage of me, no one can screw me over; if I'm alone, I'm safe. _For now._

"Look, I'm sorry. But I think you have enough to share."

His insistence pisses me off. He seems to feel he's entitled to what's mine. No "please," not an ounce of politeness in his tone. This guy has some nerve… but he also looks exhausted. Even in the unforgiving darkness, I can see that. He looks like he hasn't slept well in a very long time. I know I must look similarly. I can't remember the last time I had a good night's rest. I can't remember the last time images of my family haven't haunted me. They're waiting for me, and here I am, taking my own sweet time. I feel like I'm letting them down. However, I know they're not going anywhere. They can't survive out here on their own. They would be killed. Of course, if they aren't "dead" already. _They aren't dead, Bella. They're still breathing. They're not the people they once were, but they're still your family._ Thinking of them brings joy to my frozen heart and before I know what I'm doing, I'm reaching for my bag, my eyes never leaving the man before me, and grabbing a bottle of water. I have six bottles left, so I suppose I can spare this one. This stranger needs it more than me and I know if I were the one in need, I'd hope someone else would do the same.

"Here." I hand him the bottle and he all but snatches it out of my hands.

He quickly untwists the top and drinks half the bottle. Once he's had his fill, he pulls the bottle away from his mouth and slowly twists the lid back into place. His eyes are softer now and his whole demeanor has become less threatening. Suddenly, the moonlight shines down on us, the clouds moving out of the way, and I can see his face. Despite his thick beard and dirty appearance, I can tell he was once a very handsome man. Still is, I suppose, if he found a shower and a hairbrush. Looking into his eyes, any fears I had concerning him diminish. His eyes are soft and friendly, such a contrast to his striking facial features. A soft smile tugs on my lips, which grows as he smiles in return.

"Thank you. I haven't seen another human being for days."

"Truly?"

"Well, it's felt like days."

It's silent for a heartbeat before I ask, "So, where are you headed?"

I don't know why I care. I doubt he's going to the same place as me. However, something about him draws me in. Like we were supposed to find each other. Perhaps he's the answer to my unspoken prayers. Perhaps he can help me save my family. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I feel like there's _something_ that's brought us together. I can't put my finger on it exactly. It's just gut instinct, I suppose.

"I don't know." There's an edge to his voice. "I'm looking for someone."

"And you have no idea where they've gone?"

He shakes his head, staring off into the night.

"This someone… is important to you?"

"Very."

"I'm sorry you've lost them then. I understand the feeling."

My husband and child shouldn't feel lost to me, but they do. While I'm still hopeful, part of me is also realistic. I want to push all the logical thoughts away; the voices in my head which convince me this is all for nothing. Maybe my family will never get better, but could I live with myself if I didn't at least try to save them?

"Thank you," he whispers, gazing down at my miniscule fire.

"Do you think they went far?" I ask after a pregnant pause.

"I have no idea. I just hope she's safe."

She? His wife, then? God, I feel his pain, as well. Having to live without your loved one feels impossible at times. I can't imagine how he must feel, not knowing where his wife is, not knowing what happened to her.

"I'm sure she's all right," I say, wanting to reassure this stranger, who no longer feels like a stranger anymore.

"I don't know," he responds, unconvinced. "I hope she is. I just thought I'd find her by now. I can't imagine that she got very far."

"Were you two seperated?"

He nods, and cringes at the movement, his head shooting up to grab ahold of his shoulder. My eyes drop to the source of his pain and widen when I take in the site of his poorly bandaged wound. It's seeping still and I know if it's not properly cared for soon, it will become infected. An infection is the last thing a person needs at a time like this. We don't know what caused the virus. I don't know if the virus is airborne or what. This isn't the time to take chances with one's health.

"How did you manage to do that?"

"I was shot. Someone tried to take our sanctuary and we fought back." He pauses for a moment before adding, "You should see the other guy." A humorless laugh escapes his mouth as his posture stiffens.

"I can look at it for you. I used to be a nurse before all of this."

"I don't think that's necessary," he remarks.

"Really? It seems to hurt a great deal. Besides, you don't want a wound like that to go untreated properly. It could get infected if you're not keeping it clean and using antibiotics."

I reach for my pack, pulling out the small medical supply kit I've kept well-hidden. If someone robs me of food or water, it's better because finding that is far easier than finding medical supplies. All the pharmacies were raided right away. Thankfully, I brought all of this stuff with me from home because by the time I re-entered the world, and discovered the mess it had become, everyone scavenged all the medicine nearby. Until I make it to the hospital, which is probably another eight miles away if my calculations are correct, these supplies are all I have. And who knows, maybe I'll get there to find it's been cleaned out as well.

"Let me see the wound," I insist, moving closer to him.

He cringes away from me, but removes his hand from where it laid covering the wound. Reaching into my first-aid kit, I pull out a pair of rubber gloves and slip them on because I don't know anything about this new virus, I can't take any chances. I remove the gauze bandage he has wrapped around the wound to find puss surrounding the small bullet hole on his right shoulder.

"You're lucky you chose me to attempt to steal from. If this wound had become any more infected, you would have died."

"You don't think it will come to that?" he questions, his voice dark and tense.

"No. I think we can get through this."

"Good, because I have to find her."

"Who, your wife?" I question as I hand him a Cephalexin and his bottle of water, after making sure he wasn't allergic to penicillin.

He takes the capsule and swallows it with a small sip of water before answering me. "She's my girlfriend. But I was hoping to make her more before all of this," he says, waving his hand around, "happened."

"You'll find her," I comment, my voice soft. "But first, you have to take care of yourself. She might need your help when you find her and you're not in the condition to help anyone right now."

I begin to clean his wound with antiseptic. I clean the entrance and exit wound to the best of my ability before grabbing a clean, cloth bandage to wrap his wound with. His body tenses as I begin to tightly wrap the wound. Considering how horrible it looks, I'm surprised he's made it this far. His complexion alone suggests that he's lost a good deal of blood and while I don't want to see him go, I wonder how much longer he truly has.

"You're lucky to still be breathing," I say mildly. I finish wrapping him up and take a moment to smile at my handiwork. "There, you're in much better shape."

Suddenly, I realize how close I am to him. In the dark of the night with this intense energy pulsating between us, I forget about everything else… just for a moment. As I look up into his dark, wounded eyes, I feel like we're the only two people in the world. Which, I suppose, doesn't take any creativity to imagine on my part. Now that everyone has left the city and moved north, it really does feel like we're the only ones left. I'm quick to stop romanticizing the quiet as the sound of silence grows eerie. Although I _feel_ like we're alone out here, I know that's far from the case. _They're_ out here somewhere; lurking in wait for their next meal. _God, please, don't ever let me die like that. It's so horrific; so brutal._

"Were you alone when you were shot?" I question.

He frowns and shakes his head at this. "No. I was with my friend… my best friend from childhood."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I don't think he died in the fight. When I woke up again, I looked and couldn't find his body among all of those dead things."

"So, he just left you there?"

As soon as the question flies out of my mouth, I realize how harsh it sounds. Suddenly, my heart truly goes out to this stranger. I don't think I could leave my friend behind, regardless of the circumstances. Even if it meant I was merely dragging away their dead body, I wouldn't leave them anywhere. The thought of his childhood friend leaving him for dead makes me realize how truly horrifying this entire situation is. People are really turning on each other. And not just strangers, but friends and family, too. I guess it's the time to be selfish… although, being selfish right now seems so cruel to me. There's people out there who need another person's help. Would people really deny others of items they could easily provide? Is that really survival? _Yes_ , _it's survival of the fittest, Bella. If you want to save someone, save yourself._

Finally, he answers me. "I guess he did." He pauses for a moment, gazing thoughtfully into the night. "I'm sure he had a good reason, though. He wouldn't just leave me behind. We've been part of each other's lives since we were babies. He's my brother for all intents and purposes. Something must've happened. There has to be a damned good reason as to why he left me, but whatever the reason, I forgive him. I know he would want me to leave him behind if it meant putting my own life at risk to save him."

I nod, although I don't entirely understand this. When I love someone, I love hard, and I would fight for them until my dying breath. I guess I couldn't imagine being so logical about everything. My heart would get in the way, I'm sure. I wouldn't be able to think about the risks involved in saving a loved one. I would be far too busy trying to save them to think about it. He continues to tell me about the raid and about the deaths, glossing over his own killings. Finally, he starts talking about his girlfriend, Kate, and my heart breaks for him.

"So, when you looked, you didn't find your girlfriend's body, either?"

"I didn't find it." He pauses for a moment and I watch him, filled with empathy as I view his eyes filling with tears. "I know she's out there somewhere. She's got to be. I just can't imagine living without her."

"I understand. You'll find her. Have faith."

"Easier said than done," he remarks with a small frown.

"Is she headed north like everyone else?"

"I don't know. We've talked about moving toward D.C. or NYC, where I heard they're working on a cure."

"I'm heading north," I tell him, shocked by the way my words sound like an open invitation. _Perhaps they are. Maybe deep down, beneath the layers of fear, I really do need some company._ If I want to save my family, I know, deep down, that I can't do it alone. I need someone to help me… and this man needs someone to help him. I bite down on my lip for a second, trying to hold back the words as I mull them over in my mind. _Just do it, Bella! This is a new and terrifying world. You know you don't want to do this by yourself._ While craving independance, I still enjoy help and comfort from others every now and then. "Would you like help looking for her...?" I ask, feeling uncertain and almost embarrassed.

He regards me for a moment, looking thoughtful as he searches for what to say next to me. "I guess I can use it. I've been a complete failure on my own."

"Well, we're both headed in the same direction. I would feel bad not helping…" I trail off, prompting him to give me his name.

"Oh, Edward. Edward Cullen."

 _Handsome name for a handsome man._

"And your name?" he questions, causing me to realize the fact that I was blatantly staring at him.

"Bella Swan."

"Bella Swan," he repeats back. I like the way his voice sounds when he says my name. He makes it sound like he's talking about someone important, although, I'm far from that.

"Thank you, Bella."

He smiles at me and I smile back as the pit of my gut tells me that this will be the first step on the road I'm supposed to be on. For a moment, I feel like the stars have aligned and everything is as it should be. Except, it isn't. It isn't _yet._ Not with these creatures around. But, someday soon, the world will be wonderful again.

"Is it bad to be hopeful, you think?" I ask, tilting my head back to enjoy the sight of the stars, shining in the sky.

"No," he answers after a long while. "Hope is all we have left."

 **A/N: Because I'm just as clumsy as Bella, I hurt my "good" knee and back last night, so please send me so positive vibes. And don't forget to review! This story is going to get so much more exciting now that they're together!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7- The Beginning**

 **47 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **EPOV:**

After fighting it for so long, she falls asleep first - far more trusting than I am. Or, perhaps she isn't. Maybe she just couldn't keep her eyes open a moment longer. Her soft, feminine face shows every sign of exhaustion. She's beautiful in a way very different from Kate. This woman, _Bella_ , looks far wiser than her years. Her innocent brown eyes look like they've seen far too much. While I don't know her actual age, she seems too young to be dealing with this. She appears to be twenty-three, maybe twenty-four at most. Part of me wants to take care of her - protect her from the mess around us - but another, more logical, part of me understands there are more important things… like finding Kate.

I can't begin to thank this woman for agreeing to help me on my search. I'm a stranger, yet, she'd stick her neck out for me. Maybe there really is some good left in this world. Since whatever happened, happened, everyone outside my small circle has been nightmarish. I've never seen such hate in another human's eyes until the world around us came crashing down. Now, everything has become a means to an end. Bella is the first person I met who's different. It's obvious to me that she's battling her own demons, fighting her own wars, and yet, she's kind enough to think about me. Perhaps when this is all over, I can think about her, as well. Whatever it is she needs help with, I'd like to be there.

Watching the slight rise and fall of her chest, I relax, feeling safe for a fleeting moment. Now that she's fully asleep, I really look at her. The flames from the fire dance across her face, illuminating her elfish features. Her cheeks are slightly sunburnt and her full lips are chapped. Her eyes seems too large for her delicate face and her pert nose is covered in freckles. She's cute. There's something about her face that draws me in. It just seems so _friendly_. Despite the tough exterior she had while talking to me, now she looks almost childlike. There's something about her that seems trustworthy. She's such a stark contrast from this decaying world.

Lying down by the fire, I try to sleep, too. I know I can't go searching for Kate without taking care of myself. Despite my efforts, sleep feels impossible to come by. My mind keeps jumping from one image of Kate to the next. Old memories dance through my head like images from a movie. Tears prick my eyes as I remember life before. I hold them in, but I can't ignore the pain in my heart. _I'll find her. I'll find her and my world will go back to normal._ Opening my eyes and giving up on sleep for the time being, I flip onto my back and stare up at the sky. I wonder if she's staring up at the moon right now, too. While I watch the sky, I somehow feel closer to her. We're still under the same moon and we _will_ find each other.

Bella groans in her sleep and my eyes shoot to her, searching for the source of her pain. She appears to be having a nightmare. She begins to toss back and forth and for a moment, I watch her, wondering if she'd be upset if I woke her. But she cries out again and I know I have to wake her up. She can't attract attention, after all.

"Bella," I whisper, reaching out to shove her on her shoulder.

She shivers as soon as my hand makes contact and after another groan of discomfort, her eyes flutter open. As soon as they meet mine, they widen with fear. I watch as she tries to place me, obviously not remembering me as she's still half-asleep.

"Bella, are you all right?" I question, making sure to sound as non-threatening as possible.

"Sorry," she apologizes, reaching up to wipe the sleep from her eyes. "I was having a nightmare."

"What about?" The question flies out of my mouth before I consider how fucking rude it probably is.

"Nothing." She pauses for a moment, sitting up and staring at the night sky. "About Seth."

Her face is tense as she gazes up at the stars.

"Who's Seth?"

"No one." Her shoulders slump. "I guess this new world inspires plenty of nightmares."

"Yeah," I agree. "I have them all of the time."

She's quiet for a while. We sit in a comfortable silence, both looking up at the stars.

"Do you worry about her?"

She doesn't have to say who. "Of course."

"Do you think she's all right by herself?"

While she's asking about Kate, I know that's not who she's thinking of. She's thinking about Seth - whoever he is. I can see it in her eyes as she watches the sky. The pain on her face makes my heart sink. I'd do anything to be able to take that away. I'd like to carry that weight for her.

"Yes," I say with conviction, speaking of Seth, too. "Yes, I know she'll be all right. People are resilient, Bella."

She smiles at this. It's not a big smile, but it's noticeable.

"Seth… do you think he'll be all right?" I can't help but ask.

"I hope," she replies. "All I can do is hope."

"You're moving north for him?"

She's quiet for a moment, before answering, "I'm tired. I'm going to try to go back to sleep." Looking at me, she continues, "You should do the same. We're going to leave early. As soon as dawn breaks, we can be on our way."

"All right. No more bad dreams."

"I'll try." A bitter laugh passes through her lips. "They're all I ever have anymore."

"When something's haunting me, I just try to think of the past. I just focus on good memories."

She's thoughtful as she lays back down, turning to face away from me. "Sometimes, thinking of the past only makes things worse. It reminds me of what I no longer have."

"What you no longer have _now_. That could change. The future isn't set in stone."

"But it's looking more and more bleak."

I don't know how to respond, so I don't. I let her fall back to sleep and watch over her, making sure she doesn't have another nightmare. After a while, my own eyes grow heavy and I lay down beside her, a good few feet away. I close my eyes, listening to the sound of the wind rustling the leaves. The quiet sound is so soothing. In this new world the sound of silence suggests safety. When it's quiet, you don't have to worry. Only when you hear _them_ do you become alarmed. _I suppose now that's not true…_ There's worse things out there than zombies. _There's humans._

** A New Dawn**

"Rise and shine. It's time to get moving."

I open my eyes to find her looming over me. She's smirking. I haven't seen that expression on her before. _It suits her._ I yawn, stretching along the unforgiving ground before sitting up and taking a look around. My surroundings are just what they were last night; I don't know why I was expecting something different. I suppose part of me thought I dreamt it all. Part of me believed I never met a girl who wanted to go on this excursion with me. But here I am: wide awake and facing the truth.

"Do you have some sort of game plan?" I ask as I rise from the ground and slip on my backpack.

"Game plan? Naw, I've just been moving from one vehicle to the next. Although, I suppose I should be asking you about a plan, now. We are, after all, searching for your girlfriend."

Running a hand through my unruly hair, I respond, "I have no clue where to begin. Part of me was hoping she would just fall into my lap."

Bella cocks her brow at me and in spite of myself, I smile.

"I think she's probably moving north with whoever she's with… God, I hope she's with someone. I can't imagine how scared she would be if she were on her own."

"So, we just continue on, then?"

"I think." God, I wish I had some sort of answer. I wish I had some way of contacting Kate. _I wish I had some way of contacting anyone from my group._

"Maybe they left you some sort of sign?" Bella suggests, sounding hopeful.

"Maybe." If they thought I survived, I assume they would try to reach me. _Wouldn't they…?_

"Well, we can keep a look out for that. I've seen plenty of signs, from groups to their lost members, along the way so far. I'm sure they'd do the same."

"Yeah," I reply lamely, afraid to sound too hopeful.

"Stop it. We can't afford to both be so negative."

I roll my eyes at her before looking off into the trees. "Do you mind…" I begin, searching for the right words.

"Go for it. I peed before I came to get you up."

I blanch before a small smile tugs on my lips and I walk toward the edge of the woods. As I start to piss, I consider how much I've smiled since running into this girl. More than I imagined was possible. Since I woke up to darkness and loneliness, I never thought I would smile again. At least, not until I found Kate. However, Bella makes me feel so relaxed. Her presence alone makes me believe everything might be all right. A rustling in the trees ahead pulls me from my thoughts. My eyes shoot up to find a group of them coming toward me. Their movements are stilted and their faces, repulsive. I reach for my gun, thankful I reloaded it last night, and aim in their direction. I wait for them to come closer before I pull the trigger the first time. The closest one to me drops to the ground after my bullet ripped through its skull. I direct my aim at the one beside him, pulling the trigger and receiving the same result. With my heart pounding in my chest, I kill the final member of the group before putting the safety back on my gun and sliding it back into its holster.

Bella's standing at the edge of the woods with her own gun in her hand. She glances over my shoulder, looking for another walker and when she sees nothing other than trees and shrubbery, her shoulders slump with relief.

"Well, I guess it's been an eventful morning already."

Her light tone calms me down significantly. "Fuck, let's just find a car. I don't think I can walk with these things lurking everywhere."

"It's going to be worse in the city and that's where we're headed next."

"You're serious? You can't find a car out here somewhere?"

"We need more than a car. We need more medical supplies and food. There's two of us now and I barely have enough for me."

I remain silent for a moment, understanding. "Thank you for last night, by the way. I don't know if I would have made it without you."

"You wouldn't have. In fact, I can't believe you're standing right now. You lost a lot of blood."

"I can't believe it, either."

"Well, you're a walking miracle, Edward," she teases me as she begins to walk off in the direction of the city.

I fall in step beside her and add, "I don't know about that. I don't feel very lucky."

"You're alive. You're not one of those things," she says, pulling out her gun and aiming it at the lone walker moving toward us. She takes the safety off, shoots, puts the safety back on and slides it into her holster. Well, I doubt it's _her_ holster - it looks far too big for her - but it's the holster she has. "So, anyway, things could be worse."

"I guess that's a positive way to look at things," I remark, choking on a laugh.

"Words to live by. Don't complain because things can always be worse."

"Don't tempt fate," I tease.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Edward. Wouldn't dream of it."

 **A/N: I'm so glad you all are enjoying the story so far! Please keep reviewing! Your reviews make my day! See you tomorrow guys!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8- A Message**

 **48 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **BPOV:**

As my feet move forward, my heart picks up, racing in my chest. Suppressing the fear bubbling in my stomach, I lock my jaw in an attempt to look strong. If I look frightened, Edward sure as hell won't want to follow me any further. Walking forward has never felt so incredibly daunting. With the city before us, my mind conjures up the worst possible scenarios. Today could possibly be our last day on earth… and I can't accept that. I won't. I'll make it through this - _we'll_ make it through this - just like I always do.

I hear them before I see them. That horrific groan rings through my ears like something out of a nightmare. My right hand comes down to rest on my gun as my eyes search for them. All I see are buildings and trees. But I hear their voices, coming closer and _closer._ Then, I see one. Its body moves sporadically, jutting from one angle to the next, as it crosses the grass toward us.

"Are you sure we can't look someplace else?"

Without my eyes leaving the dead, I answer the man beside me, "Everything we need is so close. We can't take a chance by not going after this. It will be fine. We have guns, we have ammunition. Just don't get yourself killed." I sound far more calm than I feel because I don't feel calm at all.

"I won't get myself killed." He pauses, raising his gun to line up with the living dead. He shoots, shivers, and turns to me. "I'm just worried about you."

"Yeah right," I scoff, a little laugh passing through my lips. "I'm sure you're just terrified."

"Me? Terrified? Never."

"Then, let's get a move on. I want to get in and out before nightfall."

I stalk off and Edward's quick to match my pace. "So, do you have a list of what we need?"

"What are we, grocery shopping? No, I don't have a list. I have it all up here," I reply, tapping on my head.

"If you say so."

"Are you nervous?"

Edward's eyes shoot down to meet mine. "No. Why?"

"You seem to talk a lot when you're nervous about something."

He rolls his eyes. "I'd just like to make it out of here alive."

His shoulders slump and I feel guilty for teasing him. It was a poor attempt to lighten the mood. But hell, I tend to talk a great deal whenever I'm nervous, or just want to get my mind off things. I have plenty to get my mind off now.

"I told you we'd find her, right? I intend to keep my promise. We'll find her, Edward."

He nods, a sad smile tugging on his lips. "I want to help you, too. I know you don't want to tell me what you're searching for, but I want to help you, if you'll let me."

"Thank you," I murmur.

I want to reach out to him, comfort him like he's comforting me. I just want someone to hold me. I just want someone to embrace me while I cry. I haven't really cried since it happened. It's just been go, go, _go._ Never have I really taken a moment to contemplate what all of this means. My family could be gone forever and while I want to remain positive, while I keep moving forward, there's the thought of this not working out which is constantly nagging at me. At first I ran, now I walk, and I'm sure soon enough, I will crawl until I reach my destination. But what if, when I get to DC, I find nothing. Not a single answer to one of my many questions. What if the "cure" was just a fallacy to keep people positive? _No, Bella, you can't think that way._ I don't have time to cry - not now. Soon, maybe, but not now. First, I have work to do. Neither of us will survive if we're weak - physically, mentally, or emotionally. We have to keep fighting.

As we reach the city the dead are lurking around just about every square inch, so I take a moment to breathe and reload my gun. Edward does the same. I wonder if he can feel the nerves radiating off of me. I can feel his, despite his effort to appear strong, too.

"Everything will be all right," I comment as I follow Edward into the city, surprised that _he's_ the one taking the lead this time. I thought I was ready for anything, but I've never encountered so many of them at one time. I'm sure they're around every corner, on every street, waiting for me to cross their paths.

"I know it will," Edward says, his voice strong, although, I detect a hint of uncertainty. "Come on. In and out before nightfall. We better get going."

"Of course," I reply, forcing my feet to move.

** A New Dawn **

So much bloodshed - so much carnage. Looking down at my clothes, I can't decipher between what is my blood, and what is theirs. I want to wipe it away, the putrid smell causes vomit to rise in my throat, however, I don't wash it away. For some strange reason, being covered in their blood makes them think I'm one of them. Now that I'm drenched with blood and body parts I don't want to look at long enough to name, they don't seem to notice me. I move from one store to the next, gathering supplies without drawing much attention. I wonder if Edward's having the same luck. We got separated after I entered the second supermarket and we haven't run into each other since.

I keep moving forward, knowing I'll find him before nightfall. He'll meet me somewhere, I know he will.

We need each other now. I gather all the food, water, and medicine I can fit into my backpack. Thankfully, not many have come to the city. _Or they have, and they're one of_ them _now…_ That possibility makes me weak in the knees. After filling up my backpack, I slide it on, cringing at the wet noise it makes as it glides against the guts on my shirt, and move to leave. I'm sure it's getting dark by now. But despite the danger, I don't want to leave. It feels so _safe_ inside this store… so _normal._ Maybe I can find Edward and we can both hide out here… _No, Bella, you can't. You have to keep moving. You both have people waiting for you - relying on you._ With Jake and Seth in my mind's eye, I exit the store and slowly make my way onto the main road. They're everywhere, but, like before, they don't notice me. Perhaps the putrid smell really does help.

They move forward, and so do I. Fear blossoms in my belly and I'm far too tired to suppress it. _God, I hope they can't smell it on me like some animals can._ With every step I take, I fear one of them will notice me, and bite me. I picture they're disgusting teeth puncturing my skin. I picture falling down to the ground, them on top of me as they tear me apart. I cringe, trying not to illustrate to them how horrified I am. My body shakes as I continue forward, moving toward the city's edge in hopes of finding Edward.

I make my way out of the herd without being detected. Finally, I can breathe again; I hadn't realized how long I'd been holding my breath. The air tastes so much better here, when they're a few feet away… lurking. As I have a moment to gather my thoughts, my eyes search for Edward. All I see is abandoned, looted buildings, and the living dead walking everywhere. My eyes take in the destruction as my mind conjures up images of what this place once was. As I'm daydreaming, lost in the past, my eyes finally fall on him. He's staring at the side of a building, as if it were the most fascinating thing in the entire world. As I begin to move toward him, finding he's covered in blood, as well, I feel it behind me. I feel one of them lurking, obviously recognizing me as it reaches for me.

My body stills at the sensation of a decaying hand on my shoulder. I reach for my gun, but stop myself, not wanting to alarm the others and cause more trouble. So, instead, I grab the knife out of my pant pocket and flip it open, slowly turning around to face the walker who's paying far too much attention to me. I stare into its eyes for a moment, finding they're gray and cloudy, as if this creature were blind. Perhaps it relies on its other senses because I highly doubt it can see me. It stares straight through me, although, I can tell it knows I'm here. Without looking at me, it places its other hand on my shoulder. As I bring up the knife to defend myself, I try not to think of what this thing was like when it was a human being. Did it have a family? Was it well-known within the community? I wonder what type of job it had? What type of life… It roars in my face and I bring my knife to its throat, no longer thinking anymore. My knife slices across its neck and its blood splashes me in the face. I cringe for a moment, out of shock more than disgust. _I'm too used to this horror to really feel disgust at this point._

"I'm sorry," I utter, feeling as though I should say something before I push its body to the ground.

When I look away from its body, I find I'm getting attention from the others again. I must not smell as bad as I did before. I look back down at the body at my feet and try not to gag as I consider what I must do. Bending down, I run my hands over its neck and rub its blood over my clothes. Still not satisfied, I stealthily cut open its stomach, acting as if I'm feasting on it, and find parts of decaying body to add to the horror already covering my clothing. _Don't breathe, Bella. Don't breathe and you won't notice how horrible it is._ Holding my breath, I stand back up to find none of them notice me anymore. Quickly this time, I move to meet Edward.

He's a few blocks away and due to my haste, I get to him in no time. He's still gazing at the wall by the time I reach him. He's covered in blood, but it's mostly dry. I know he's going to have to bathe in it once more if we're going to get out of the city without too much mayhem.

"What is it?" I ask as I move to stand beside him.

"It's Kate. This is her handwriting. I'd recognize it anywhere," he murmurs, seemingly mystified.

My gaze turns to the wall where I find a note to Edward written in what appears to be spray paint.

 **Survivors, follow signs to Vantage Point.**

 **I'll meet you there.**

 **Stay safe.**

"Vantage Point?" I wonder aloud. "I've never heard of it."

In the time I've been on the road, I haven't seen a single sign for a camp called "Vantage Point." I return my gaze to Edward, finding that he's still staring blankly at the wall before him. Slowly, he reaches out with his right hand and traces his lover's handwriting with his fingertips. His body shakes as his eyes take in the message again.

"She has to be close, don't you think?"

"I have no idea," I answer honestly. "I doubt she's too far ahead of us, though. We must be on the same path as her."

"We just have to find signs for Vantage Point," Edward replies, his voice ringing with determination.

"We'll find it," I say as I look up at the sky. It's twilight. Soon it will be dark and we'll be at these creatures' mercy. "First, we have to get the hell out of here."

 **A/N: Hey, everyone! I'm so glad you guys are enjoying my NaNoWriMo project! Please keep reviewing! See you all tomorrow!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9- Lost Hope**

 **56 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **EPOV:**

All my hope seems to fade away as time ticks by. I thought we would find her sooner. The logical part of me understands it hasn't truly been that long; however, in this new world, one day feels like many. Every day feels impossibly long under the blistering hot sun, with nothing but the endless road ahead. Bella makes things better; she accepts me, despite my moodiness lately. I haven't been the easiest man to be around, but she's so focused on the end goal, I doubt she really notices or cares.

"Fuck," I hear her murmur as she trips over her own foot.

She crouches down, cringing in pain as she yanks off her right shoe. My eyes scan the area and when I find no immediate threats, I bend down, too. Her ankle is swelling. I wonder how long it's been like this. If she's been uncomfortable during our trek, she hasn't uttered a word about it. Suddenly, I feel guilty. I should have been looking out for her well-being instead of constantly looking ahead.

"Bella, are you all right? When did you hurt your ankle?"

Her lips pull down in a slight frown as she refuses to meet my gaze. "I hurt it a few days ago… but I didn't think it was so bad at the time. I guess I was wrong."

"Why didn't you say anything?" I ask, exasperated. I gently press my fingers against her ankle. She squirms and my irritation grows. _Why didn't she tell me?_ "This isn't the time or place to be injured. If you needed a break, you should've said something. Now, you may have made it all worse."

"I thought I could keep going," she practically barks back, swiping my hand away from her injury. "I didn't want to delay us any further. We've already stopped so many times. The camp can't be too much further."

I roll my eyes, standing up and sliding off my backpack. I picked up an ace wrap when we were in the city, hoping I wouldn't have to use it anytime soon. Little did I know, my traveling companion has a terrible habit of tripping over her own two feet. I don't say anything, though. She's such a trooper - so strong and fearless as we move forward in our journey. Hell, I think she's much braver than I am. However, she's also filled with pride. And I'm sure her pride is one of the reasons she stayed silent about her injury. She doesn't want to appear weak; I understand and get that. Although we've grown close - closer than I ever could have imagined - she still believes I could take advantage of her, overpower her if I wanted to. Of course, I never would. Even if we were in dire straits, I couldn't imagine harming her.

"We have to stop for a while. You have to rest. If you carry on like this, your small injury could turn into a big one."

Bella looks up at me, her eyes now widening with fear. She attempts to rise from her squatting position but immediately cringes before deciding on staying near the ground. Reaching down, I gently help her to her feet, knowing we have to call it a day and setup camp. It's still early in the afternoon; the sun is shining brightly in the sky, burning my skin. As much as I want to keep walking, I know that would be unethical. She needs to rest. I can't push her until she breaks. I know if I don't demand we set up camp, Bella would never suggest it or even want to do it. Knowing that almost makes me like her more. I'm proud of her, in a way. She's strong. She would give any zombie or hell, any man for that matter, a run for their money. Although she puts on a good front, I know the faith she once had in herself is fading. While that saddens me, I know it's going to be all right because _I_ believe in her.

She licks her chapped lips and tilts her head up toward the sun, closing her eyes and basking in its warmth. I watch her, enjoying the way the sun reflects against her dark brown hair, causing it to exhibit a tint of red. It's beautiful; _she's_ beautiful - a beautiful person. Whoever this Seth is, he's a very lucky man. I hope she gets back to him. She deserves her happy ending, too. If we never find Kate, which I pray to God doesn't happen, I'll still want to help Bella get back to Seth.

"I think it's time we break and set up camp for the night."

Her eyes snap open and she looks at me incredulously. "I'm fine," she nearly snaps. "If I rest for a moment, I'll be able to walk on it just fine."

"I don't think so. We're stopping."

Her eyes widen before they meet mine and narrow, her pert nose scrunching up in distaste. "I don't want to stop. I want to keep going."

"Well, that's too bad because you're done for the day."

"Who are you, my father? You can't order me around."

"I'm trying to help you, Bella. How much longer do you think you'll last with your ankle like that? What if you overexert yourself and then we're faced with another attack? What then?" I try to reason with her.

"What about…?"

"I doubt stopping now is going to make much of a difference in finding Kate. Wherever she is, I'm sure she's safe."

"Do you truly believe that?" Bella quietly asks. "You truly believe she's all right."

"I hope." I watch her as she stumbles for a moment, but manages to stand back up. "She's definitely not as strong as you." The comment leaves my lips before I really think about it, but it's definitely true. While I love Kate more than anything, she always waited for someone to save her, whereas Bella's different - Bella just stands up and saves herself. The woman before me now doesn't stand idly by, waiting for her knight in shining armor to come save her. Her independence is another thing I like about her; I don't have to really worry about whether Bella will be all right. If anything, the only thing I have to worry about is her pride being her downfall.

"I'm not that strong," Bella nearly whispers as she begins to limp off toward the direction we were originally headed.

"Stop. Let's walk toward that clearing over there and find a place to set up camp."

"You really want to stop for the day?" she questions.

While her voice is harsh, I detect a note of gratitude.

"Yes. Come on, I need to rest, too. Since that last car ran out of gas, we've been walking non-stop and I'm exhausted. So, if it makes you feel better, you can use my old age as a reason to stop."

She smirks at this. "You're not old."

"I'll be thirty-four next month. I feel ancient."

"I guess that's practically the end of your life considering the new circumstances. Thirty is the new eighty," she teases, giving me a genuine smile.

While her look of contentment is brief, it still has the power to take my breath away for a moment. When she's happy like this, she's captivating. I'm sure she could win the attention of an entire room with a smile like that. Her smile brings me such an inner peace. When she smiles like that, I forget about everything else and for a moment, I truly believe everything will be okay.

"What?" she asks, cocking her brow at me.

It's then I realize I've been gawking at her. "Nothing. It's just different seeing you happy."

Her eyes sober and I instantly regret my comment. Her lips pulling down in a frown, she answers, "I used

to be happy all the time. Before all this, I felt like all I did was smile."

"You'll get back to that, Bella."

"You rarely smile, too."

"I'm just worried about Kate."

"I know. You say her name in your sleep, you know?"

"Do I?"

"All the time," she confirms. "It's sweet."

"I guess my subconscious mind is even more worried for her than my conscious mind allows."

"And you really want to rest? What if today was the day we'd end up finding her?"

"Worrying about that can wait until tomorrow. What we need to focus on now, is you."

 **A/N: I am so, so, so glad you guys are liking my project! NaNoWriMo is intense… but totally fun! I'm going out of town for a concert tomorrow, so I'm going to try to update twice tonight! **Crosses Fingers****

 **Love you all! Please, please keep reviewing! (I love reading them even though I totally suck at replying. I just figure you guys would rather I focus on writing.)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10- Forgotten**

 **56 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **BPOV:**

The fire's heat caresses my skin, relaxing me as I lay beside it, watching its flames dance in the wind. The crackling sound provides me with such comfort. It's nice having moments like these - moments without the crunching sounds of bones rubbing against bones and moans from the living dead. In these peaceful moments, I feel like I've traveled back in time to the world before the virus outbreak. I snuggle up in my sleeping bag, letting images from those days dance in my mind.

After a few minutes, the sounds of footsteps rouse me from my thoughts and I open my eyes to find Edward, hobbling toward me with more firewood. The exhausted look on his face twists into a smile as his eyes meet mine. Although I didn't want to stop and rest, I'm thankful he made me. I don't think I would have fared well if I kept overexerting myself. This near to the city is the last place I need an injury.

"You feeling any better?"

He throws the branches into the flames and plops down beside me, sitting partially on my sleeping bag. I like him close like this, I feel safe. I know if Jake were here right now - human - he would be shielding me from every horror this new world has to offer. He would protect me until his final breath. And now, I'm the one protecting him. I'm the one risking my own life everyday to save him and Seth. I don't mind. I missed having a purpose like this. Before the outbreak, I quit work to be a stay at home mom with Seth. Even though I loved him more than anything, I quickly became depressed, being shut away in my home every day. While some women thrive, I hated it. I felt like my life was taking a inconsequential path; a path I didn't want to be on. Here, now, I feel like my old self again. Which is strange, considering the eccentric circumstances.

"It's still sore," I mumble, sitting up so I'm facing the fire, as well.

"Well, you were walking on it for far too long." He pauses for a moment, studying me. "You hungry?"

"I could eat." I shrug.

He chuckles at this, stares off into space for a moment, and then laughs even harder.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing," he replies, gaining control of himself. "It's just, my friend, Paul, used to say that all the time. He'd always be like, 'I'm not hungry, but I can eat.' You reminded me of him for a moment."

I open my mouth to speak, but my mind quickly stops me. I want to ask about his friend, but what if it's a touchy subject? _Everything_ feels like a touchy subject these days. So many lives have been lost; so many families have been torn apart. Nothing is how it once was, so, you're bound to hit a sore spot with people every now and then. Or at least, I _think_. Edward is the first person I've run into while on the road. When I first started off, I stayed well hidden - slept far from any paths and even climbed trees to hide out when I heard any groups approaching. I didn't want to be seen. It was too risky. It's still too risky. Sure, I have Edward, now, but I can't allow another in our tiny group. More people means more trouble. The more people we surround ourselves with, the more risk we surround ourselves with. Even when I craved human interaction early on in my quest, I understood that.

Bored, and too curious to help myself, I finally ask, "Where is your best friend now?"

Edward grows still by my side, ponders for a moment, and then answers, "Honestly, I have no idea. I hope he's with Kate. We all lived together at the beginning of all this," he explains. "We lived in a mall with a group of people and survived as one unit… until we were raided. I was shot, but you know that. I was shot during the raid and passed out. They left me for dead, or thought I was dead when they left, then I awoke to find bodies everywhere. Bodies of my friends and their families. Bodies of people that I got to know that joined our group. Adults and children, all killed to gain excess to our sanctuary. Funny thing is, when I woke up, all I saw were the bodies. I didn't see any of those raiders' bodies anywhere. Paul wasn't among the dead. At least, not from what I saw. I think I checked every single body that was there; I was looking for Kate."

Edward's monologue comes to an abrupt end before he stares off into the darkness before us, seemingly forgetting about me - forgetting about everything. Before I realize what I'm doing, I reach out and place my hand on top of his, wanting him to know that I'm here for him, for whatever he needs. Although he doesn't thank me for the small comfort, he doesn't shoo me away, either. Instead, we sit in a comfortable silence. Well, comfortable until the realization of what he saw that day comes creeping in. How is he not traumatized from that? Or maybe he is, and he just holds it in very, very well.

"I'm sorry," I whisper into the wind as it picks up around us, blowing the flames from the fire in many different directions.

"Don't be," he answers, just as quietly. "We've both seen our fair share of carnage. More than any one person should ever have to see."

"It doesn't make things less painful," I whisper.

"What?"

"Seeing all these horrors, it doesn't make anything any easier for either of us. Sure, part of me has grown numb to it, but there will always be a part of me that still struggles with the new world."

Edward turns to look at me, the flames from the fire dancing in his emerald colored eyes. I'm lost for a moment, and then I remember where we are and what lies ahead.

"Rest, Bella. We need you healthy for when we get back on the road."

And with that, the captivating moment between us fades and he looks away from me. Who knew, surrounded by so much death and destruction, I would find a new friend. _He is my friend, isn't he?_ His brows knit together and he peers back at me, giving me a percular look.

"Of course, I'm your friend."

I feel my cheeks flush, feeling so young all of a sudden. "Good. I could use a friend." Especially in a world like this. While I've let my guard down and I should be terrified - I'm not. I feel positively safe.

The next morning Edward's awake long before I am. The hot sun burns my face, rousing me from my sleep. I nestle in my sleeping bag a moment longer, not wanting to face the day. I don't know what it is - perhaps an energy in the air? - but I have a bad feeling about what lies ahead. Something in my gut is warning me. Warning me of what, I don't know. _There's something dangerous on the horizon_ , it says. I can't ignore it, as much as I want to. The feeling sends a chill down my spine and causes my heart to race against my chest. Something isn't right.

I used to feel this way when a full moon was rising. I could feel the change in the air and would see the difference in the way people were behaving. It was as though we were all wired to know when a change was coming. Perhaps it's a survival instinct. Maybe that's what I'm experiencing right now. All my senses are alerting me to something horrible, but I don't know how to listen to them. How can I protect myself against something which has yet to happen? _Maybe I'm just being silly… or paranoid… possibly both._ After all that has happened, paranoia is a reasonable explanation. _I've seen too much - done too much._ Closing my eyes, I shut out the rest of the world. Until, Edward comes back to our campsite.

"It's just past noon, I think. You ready to get on the road?"

He squats down beside me and, believing I'm still asleep, reaches into my unzipped sleeping bag and gently pulls out my injured leg, assessing it. Feeling embarrassed, I keep my eyes tightly shut and keep my breathing even as he gently touches the swelling of my ankle before carefully setting my leg down, back inside my sleeping bag.

"It still looks pretty bad," I hear him whisper to himself.

I keep my eyes closed for another minute and then I grow restless. Knowing his eyes are still studying me, I fake the steps of waking up: fluttering my eyes, yawning, and stretching before I open my sleepy eyes and look in his direction. I force my eyes to widen slightly as I take him in, wanting him to believe I had no idea he was watching me.

"Hey," I mumble. "Did I oversleep?"

"No. Is your leg feeling better?"

"It's still tender," I answer honestly. "But, I'll be fine walking on it. I've dealt with much worse."

"You sure?"

"Positive. Besides, we can't camp out here forever. We're only safe, if we keep moving."

Edward stares at me for a moment, as if he were trying to assess if I'm lying or not, before finally nodding.

"Okay, if you say so. Take your time getting ready. There's no rush."

He leaves me alone to "wash up." I take the tube of toothpaste out of my backpack and squeeze a small amount of it onto my index finger. I "brush" my teeth for thirty seconds and then take a small sip of water, rinsing my mouth out before sitting it on the ground next to me. I then take a small amount of water from the same bottle and splash it on my face before pouring a little bit more into my hand to wash my armpits and between my legs, having to awkwardly shove my hand down my pants in the process. I try to do this with natural water, normally, but we haven't come across a natural source of water for the past few days. So bottles of water are the only choice for now. I've been saving the empty bottles so when we do come across water, I'll be able to bottle some up for washing purposes. If I can snag a water filtration system from somewhere, it would make things far easier. Then, I wouldn't have to feel so worried about finding distilled water from the looted stores around town. I finish getting ready by running a comb through my hair and applying the tiniest amount of lotion to my face. Until we reach this settlement, I know I have to be sparing with everything I use.

When I'm ready, I stand up and roll up my sleeping bag, attaching it to my backpack before I walk off to find Edward, who's already packed and ready to go. Although he's been patient for my sake, I can tell he's desperate to get back on the road. Who could blame him? His girlfriend is out there somewhere, possibly suffering, and he's stuck here with me - some random girl he met on the road. Although he cares about me, in a friendly sort of way, I know he'll never care about my well-being the way he cares about hers. _Which makes sense._ As strange as it is, I care about his well-being a lot. Possibly more than I should. But I can't help it. My own family may be beyond saving… even though I absolutely hate admitting it. I'm hopeful, of course, but I have to be realistic, as well. And realistically, I have no idea what the future has in store for them.

"I'm all set," I call out as soon as Edward's within my view.

He turns and smiles at me with a smile that doesn't quite meet his eyes. He's worried. Maybe he feels the weird energy in the air, too. Perhaps I'm not the only one with a feeling that something is off. I wish that would make me feel better, but it doesn't. If anything, it makes me feel far more afraid. If he feels it too, maybe there really is danger close by. Of course, he could just be worried about his estranged girlfriend. _One could only hope…_

"Well, I searched this morning and I haven't found any more signs pointing in a certain direction. So, I thought we could continue north. I think we'll probably run into the camp."

I nod in agreement. "That sounds fine to me. I'll just be following you."

"You want to follow me? You seem better with directions."

Despite myself, I snort out a laugh. "I think you must be the first man to ever say a woman is better with directions."

He smiles at this, and this time the smile does reach his eyes. "I might as well be honest. With the living dead crawling all over the place, this isn't exactly the time to be prideful."

"I suppose so. I'll lead the way, but don't get frustrated if I get us lost."

"How can you get us lost? We don't even know where we're going."

"True."

I cross the grass, now long and nearly reaching my kneecap, and make my way toward the street with Edward following quickly behind. I walk fast, despite the tenderness in my ankle. It will hurt no matter what, so I might as well move with confidence. I believe the dead can sense our fear from a mile away; they're nourished by our fear just as much as they're nourished from our bodies, I think. Of course, I'm no expert. If I was, I wouldn't be on this long and bloody journey to DC.

The sun is unforgiving as it shines down on our exposed faces. I wish I still had Jake's hat, something to cover my face from the sun's rays. I lick my chapped lips and tilt my head toward the sun. Although it's relentless, it's peaceful in a way. The change from night to day seems to be the only thing I can rely on these days. It's certainty provides me with such a profound sense of peace.

My legs ache as our journey for the day begins, but I keep pushing forward. We manage to make small talk for a while, but the strange energy in the air silences us both. As we continue, the uneasy feeling that something bad is on the horizon grows more intense. Neither of us comments on it, but both of us acknowledge it. Edward's so stiff at my side, his eyes constantly scanning the area around us.

It's been miles and miles and finally, we find an array of abandoned cars. I smile, and then ignoring the pain of my splitting lips and swollen ankle, I break into a jog, moving toward the cars as if they were my lifeline. My feet become numb, but I make it to a SUV and immediately yank the passenger door open. What's inside, nearly brings me to my knees. Its cloudy, blue eyes stare straight through me and its jaw begins to grind, as if it were chewing on something. Before I can react or even scream, it falls onto me, chomping its jaw as it takes us both to the ground.

"Bella!"

I hear Edward running toward me as I lay paralyzed beneath my dead attacker. It smells putrid; I fear I'll never forget the smell of its decaying flesh until the day I die. As if it was all happening in slow motion, I watch its jaw stretch and grind, biting the air as it attempts to dig into my flesh. And as if a switch was being flipped on in my brain, I reach for my knife. I cringe, tightly closing my mouth as I reach with the knife firmly in my right hand, my left holding the walker's head in place, and plunge my knife into its neck. I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel its blood hit me in the face.

"Bella!" I hear Edward cry again, closer this time.

And then, I hear the rest of them - a swarm of voices moving toward us. My eyes fill with tears as my body fills with adrenaline. I push the dead zombie off of me and sit up, gazing ahead at the atrocity heading toward us. _There's so many of them!_ All shapes and sizes, moving toward us in an eerie unison. I pull out my pistol and set it beside me before pulling out my second gun to load it. I shoot a glance at Edward and find he's doing the same. Maybe we could just run?

"They're everywhere, Bella," my partner says grimly, causing me to cast a glance over my shoulder.

He's right; they're surrounding us. Nausea sweeps over me as I realize the only way out of this involves bloodshed. _Death. I'm numb to it now, aren't I?_ I rise as they come toward us, guns ready. I feel tears trail down my cheeks as my body's nearly sparking with intensity. I'm ready for this. We will get through this and move on - I know we will.

Edward comes to press his back against mine so he's facing one direction and I'm facing the other, both of us facing different hoards of the same monster. I feel his body shaking and I wonder if he can feel mine doing the same thing. Maybe it's all the adrenaline… or maybe it's just my uncontrollable nerves. Regardless, my body is buzzing, waiting for a fight.

"We'll get through this, Bella."

"I know."

"This is just a bump in the road for us."

"I know."

"Are you nervous?"

"No."

A strained chuckle escapes his lips. "Good. Let's give them hell, then."

The first zombie reaches me and I fire the first shot. My ears ring and I smile. _Let's give them hell._

 **A/N: And here's tomorrow's update! I** _ **might**_ **be motivated before my concert and will update again… but that's a big "might." Lol. Otherwise, I'll be back on Tuesday! If you want to stalk me while I'm away, you can always follow me on instagram at lizzieleeauthor because I'll be posting some concert pics there. And on Facebook! (I'm sure I'm already friends with all of you on there.)**

 **See you next time!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11- Bloodshed**

 **57 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **EPOV:**

Bodies fall at my feet; blood splatters against my face, smelling like death warmed over. I wish I had time to wipe the blood away, but they keep coming. They all look so different but move as though they have one mind. That single mind wants one thing: flesh. As I watch them move toward me, I realize there's probably not a single trace of humanity left in their bodies. While their bodies are animated, their souls are long gone. They snap their jaws, looking animalistic as they wag their head back and forth. The smell of Bella and me are probably driving them mad. They move as if they can't attack fast enough. Their bodies can't accommodate their need to eat. The hunger is in their eyes, haunting me.

I feel the rapid beat of Bella's heart rate as her back stayed glued against mine. She's shaking, but her fear doesn't prevent her from defending herself. She shoots one zombie after another, only pausing long enough to reload her guns. The crowd surrounding us seems endless. _Where the hell did these fuckers come from?_ Almost mindlessly, I shoot at them. Aim. Fire. Aim. Fire. No rhyme or reason to any of it. All I know, is that we need to survive this. It doesn't matter how many we have to kill - how much bloodshed we have to cause - we're surviving this.

"I think we can make a run for it!" Bella screams out between gunshots.

"Where?" My eyes dart around and find nothing more than the living dead.

"There's an opening. You can't see it, but I can. Trust me."

"I trust you."

"Then get ready to run!" She shoots twice more before adding, "Now!"

I turn on my heel and follow her, chasing her through the crowd and killing anything in our path. My arm grows tired, but I keep shooting, knowing it's the only way to remain alive. Otherwise, we'll both turn into _them._ Bella darts through the herd, little enough to squeeze past the dead and shoot along the way. We dart into the city as the sun begins to set. The scenery is strangely beautiful. The bright sun begins its descent toward the city, causing everything to look grotesquely fantastical - like something out of a dream. Or a nightmare, I guess. A beautifully crafted nightmare, which I'm sure my uncreative mind could never come up with. Knowing this is reality, blows me away completely. The sounds of _them_ approaching us from all sides focuses my mind once more. Their snarls are such a contrast to the beauty of the city. I aim my gun and shoot, listening as the bullet slices through the air before slicing through the zombie's head. _I'll never get used to this._

My frantic eyes dart to find Bella's little body. She's far ahead of me, sprinting forward and I immediately propel myself forward, quickly catching up. She's covered in blood, but she still looks so sweet. I think it's her eyes or maybe the aura that surrounds her. She feels so kind; she feels like _home_. I'm sure she's home to someone. What a lucky person that someone is, to have someone like her as their rock. She won't be my home, but I'm lucky to have her as my friend. _Such a brave thing in a small package._ My eyes follow her as she puts a bullet in another zombie's head. _I wonder if she knows how incredible she is?_ As she pulls the trigger once more, I smile, knowing that somehow, someway, we'll both survive this.

"Let's just get into one of those buildings ahead!" she shouts without sparing a moment to look at me.

She doesn't wait for my response and takes off running even faster. I sprint to catch-up. I watch her movements out of my peripheral as I deal with one threat at a time as _they_ crowd around me. My heart is in my throat and my breaths are so quick, I'm nearly panting. I feel as though my heart's about to explode. Maybe it will. Maybe that would be the way I exit this world. I suppose that would be a far better death than being eaten alive. _Eaten alive until you turn into one of them._ The thought sends a shiver down my spine before a hand on my shoulder stills my breathing all together, causing every hair on my body to stand in attention.

I quickly pivot to find a walker that must be around three hundred pounds. Its flesh is decaying and the hair on its head is beginning to fall out. The hair left on its scalp is stringy and its skin is nearly gray. This zombie looks oddly fresh. Well, as "fresh" as a zombie could look. It begins to mindlessly snap its jaw in my direction, the hunger filling its eyes. With my free hand, I reach for my knife, pulling it from my belt and holding it firmly in my hand. I'm still for a second, mesmerized by the way they all seem to move their mouths. It's like the only brain activity they have revolves around carnage. They don't have personalities - they don't have anything. There's nothing to differentiate one zombie from the next outside of their appearance, and even that can be eerily similar. It pains me to know this thing once had a personality. Maybe this monster before me had a family; maybe he had someone who loved him.

"I'm sorry," I murmur as I plunge the knife into its throat.

"Fuck!" I hear Bella moan in a distance.

My eyes scan the perimeter for her and find nothing more than buildings and the dead. "Bella?" I call out, to receive no response. I stalk forward with the knife in my left hand and a gun in my right, killing everything that gets in my way as I search for her. I hear her fire her gun, which is a good sign, and follow the noise. With my heart palpitating in my chest, my eyes search for her, fearful of what I may find. I turn a corner and find her, on her back on the ground, blood pooling from her arm. _Has she been bitten?_ My breathing nearly stops as I take in the scene before my mind starts working again and my body springs into action. With a roar of anger, I shoot the zombies in front of her. They fall to the ground, one by one, before the final one lands directly on top of her.

"No!" she whimpers. "Make it stop! Make it fucking stop!"

She pulls out her knife, pushing it into the neck of the creature above her whom is already dead. Blood splatters onto her face, and I'm so horrified by the sight I don't notice the other zombies moving toward her… until they're on top of her, as well. They fall beside her, biting and searching for their next meal. She screams, thrashing beneath the body on top of her. I try to run to her, but I quickly become surrounded, too.

"Fight, Bella! Fucking fight!" I scream as I begin firing my gun off at the crowd of walkers surrounding me. I hear her crying. I hear her screaming. But I can't spare a moment to look. They're everywhere. _Everywhere… God, maybe this really is the end._ Tears fill my eyes as I think about Bella… as I think about Kate. Kate, who thought I would go to the ends of the earth for. If I don't find her, she may think I abandoned her. God, I wish I was able to turn back time and tell her I love her one last time. And Paul… my best friend. I may never see him again. _Fuck! Stop feeling sorry for yourself and fight! Fight for Kate. Fight for Paul. Most importantly, fight for Bella - the girl who's risking everything for you._ In a blind rage, I shoot. My mind barely registers what my body is doing. I watch bodies fall around me, but I feel absolutely nothing. I feel blood cover me, but I continue to move forward. I hear myself screaming, but it's like the sounds coming toward me from the end of a tunnel. I feel like I'm watching myself fight from afar; as I move, I feel like I'm no longer in my own body.

Bella's screams are the only thing that really register in my mind. They're the only thing that keeps me going. As soon as I'm able, I turn to run to her, and tears run down my face as I take in the sight before me. There's blood everywhere - the dead everywhere - and the only part of her I can see is her face. Her beautiful face is marred with the most horrifying expression. Tears run down my face as I run to her. She may be dying, but I can't let them continue to eat her. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!_ The sounds of flesh tearing and my screams are the only thing that fills the alleyway. Bella's no longer making noise, instead, she stares horrified as their mouths pull on different bits of organs, muscles, and flesh.

I drop my gun - shooting them would be far too easy and unsatisfying - and reach for my second knife. With both blades in hand, I attack the lot of them, leaving not a single one alive. They deserve to die. Fuck, I wish I could reanimate them one final time just to murder them again. Tears are coursing down my cheeks as I stab them each far too many times than necessary. I wonder if they can feel pain. I wonder if they can suffer like Bella has.

As soon as I'm finished and the final one is dead on the ground, I drop to my knees beside the girl I have so quickly called my friend. I don't wipe my tears away, I let them flow, knowing this tragedy isn't something I can bottle up and avoid. The pain I feel is so profound. I never knew I could have these feelings for a stranger. I never knew someone like Bella could affect me so greatly. For a moment, I want to die, too. I'd give anything to be able to take her place. Someone like her deserves to live. I wish I could give that to her. But I failed her - just like I've failed everyone else in my life. I close my eyes and bow my head, hoping more will come and take me, too.

"Get them off of me," I hear a voice choke out.

My eyes fly open in shock. "Bella?"

"Please, get them off. I can't stand it anymore."

Without another word, I begin pulling the corpses off of her, until I reach the one most directly on top of her, lying horizontally across her stomach. Its stomach has been torn open and what's left of its body is a bloody mess. Was that what they were eating? They were eating another zombie, instead of Bella? _That doesn't make any sense. When we smelled like zombies earlier, they didn't harm us. Hell, they didn't even acknowledge us. And now… now they're cannibalizing one of their own?_

I throw the last zombie off of her and without uttering a single word, I pull her into my arms. She sobs against my chest and as the daylight drifts into twilight, I contemplate how close we both were to death.

 **A/N: Coheed and Cambria was amazing last night! I'm so glad you guys enjoyed the double update! Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 - Crossing the Lines**

 **57 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **BPOV:**

His strong arms encompass my body, pulling me off the hard, bloodied ground. For a few moments, I believed I was dying. I believed that flesh was my own. I watched as they cannibalized a zombie, one of their own, on top of my body. With horror-filled eyes, I watched skin, muscles, and organs be torn away. _That could have been me… that should have been me. It seems the only thing that saved me was pure luck. Pure luck and Edward._ I look up at the man who's holding me, finding my heart overflowing with gratitude. He could have run away. Truly, he doesn't need me to find his girlfriend and yet, here I am.

I jump in his arms as he kicks open a door and quickly moves inside, kicking it shut and muffling the noise of _them._ Now that we're safe - well, as safe as we can be for now - my eyes begin to water. I could have died. Death was so close, I could practically taste it on my lips. Today could have very well been my last day on Earth. It would have been if Edward had not saved me. I don't think I would have been able to save myself. I was just so immobilized with fear and I worried that if I tried to fight back, things would have taken a violent turn for me.

"It's okay. Everything is okay now. I've got you," Edward whispers into my hair.

I bury my head into his shirt, ignoring the bloodstains as I close my eyes, allowing his steady heartbeat to comfort me. He walks further into the building, opens and shuts another door, and then lowers us gently to the ground, keeping me in his lap. He gently rocks me, as one would do with a child, and whispers comforting words into my ear. Nothing can help, though. The things I saw today… those are things that can never be unseen. Never have I been so close; never have I felt so much. I wonder if Edward can chase away my nightmares because I worry that I don't have that power.

"We're safe now, Bella. I promise you."

After a few more minutes, I open my eyes. His gaze is so intense, I shiver in response. His eyes are filled with relief and an emotion I cannot name. I feel my body soften in his arms and I look away, regarding the quiet room around us. It's dark and damp and filled with discarded food, drinks, and cigarettes. It takes me a moment in the darkness, but as my eyes adjust I realize this is an abandoned convenience store. _Oh, thank God. Thank God._ Our supplies have been dwindling lately. Focusing on that, something I can now control, helps to take my mind away from the horrors for a little bit. However, as soon as I close my eyes, gore and death is all I find. I shiver again, attempting to will the thoughts away.

"Bella," Edward whispers again. "You're safe now."

I nod, although my mind doesn't fully understand. I'm far too distracted. Suddenly, I notice my wet clothes and glance down to find I'm covered in blood that isn't my own. Little bits of flesh cover me and I cry out upon noticing them, tears coursing down my cheeks. My numb fingers immediately begin tearing at my clothes, knowing I won't feel sane until they're off of me. I tear at my shirt, breaking a nail in the process of tearing it from my equally dirty skin. Edward lets go of me in the process. I feel his stare, but I'm too determined to pay him any mind right now. I kick out of my shoes, pull off my pants, leaving me in my socks, sports bra, and underwear. Then, I pick up my shirt and begin scrubbing my skin. I rub and rub until my flesh becomes pink and irritated and then I rub some more. Tears course down my cheeks and fall onto the dried blood of my chest. Seeing this only makes my tears come quicker. I feel Edward pull me into his arms, and I try to fight him off. He's crying, too. Is he just as terrified as I am? With his jaw locked and his eyes dark with intensity, he looks like he wants to punch something, releasing all the emotions that are clearly bubbling within him. I stop scrubbing and reach out to touch his face, wiping away a few of his tears with my fingertips.

"You could have died," he states in a harsh monotone voice.

"I know," I whisper in return. "But we're both still here."

"For now," he says wistfully. "Who knows how much longer we have."

"I know. I thought I could survive this," I pause, gasping for air as I think of Seth and Jake waiting for my return. _If they even realize I'm gone._ "But now… now I don't know. I don't know if I'm strong enough. What if we don't make it out of this alive?"

"Everyone dies. That's always been the case. We live and then we die. But I think you're strong. I think we both are. We'll make it through this."

Light shines through the cracks of the boarded up windows, illuminating his angular face. Reaching out, I touch the skin of his face again. Not to wipe away tears this time, though. This time, my touch is one of admiration. He feels so good. He feels so alive. In a world of death and destruction, he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

"We'll make it through this," I repeat breathlessly.

We sit in silence, but it's far from comfortable. The energy coursing between our bodies is practically palpable, and before I know what I'm doing, I'm leaning forward, my face coming close to his. He sucks in a breath of air, his eyes darkening as his gaze drops to my lips.

"We can't," he murmurs, his voice tense.

"I want to feel something," I all but beg. "I want to feel something other than pain."

A shaky exhale pauses through his lips and his body tenses as if he were trying desperately to contain himself. He reaches out and cups my face, running his thumb along my chapped bottom lip as he studies me.

"Do you want this?"

I nod, feeling goosebumps form all over my exposed flesh. He doesn't kiss me, that would be far too intimate. I don't want him to kiss me; I want him to fuck me. I want him to plow into me until I don't remember who I am - until I don't remember what life on Earth has become. He flips me over so I'm on my hands and knees. I hear him remove his holster, unbuckle his pants, and unzip his fly. A shiver runs down my spine. Jake is the only man I've ever been with. _Jake._ Now, when I think of him, I only see what he's become. Tears fill my eyes and I push the thought of him away, focusing all my attention on Edward as he consumes my sense, erasing every thought from my brain with one harsh thrust of his hips.

I cry out and as I turn my head to stare back at him, I find my underwear torn on the floor. I was so lost in thought, I hadn't even realized he removed them. Not just removed, but tore them from my body. I moan in pleasure, finally looking up to meet his dark gaze as he thrusts into me. His thrusts would be harsh and unforgiving if I didn't relish in them. He fucks me like I'm the only thing tethering to him to life itself. He grips my hips until I can feel his rigid nails break the top layer of my skin. The only sounds filling the room are the sounds of our breathing and my ass slapping against his hips and thighs. I smile, feeling truly alive for the first time in weeks. I scream. It feels good to scream. I'm releasing every ounce of energy I've been repressing. It's been so long since my body felt pleasure. As I ride the waves of said pleasure, my mind forgets everything else. All I think of is my approaching orgasm, bucking my hips in an effort to reach it more quickly.

Neither of us say words of love or encouragement. In fact, neither of us utters a word. We don't need to. Our bodies speak for themselves. I don't need to be talked to, I need to be fucked senseless. My mind has been craving a distraction like this. Edward removes his right hand from my hip and reaches it between my legs. His calloused fingers begin to play with the folds of my pussy until they finally reach my clit. I don't last much longer. I come with a cry and after a few more harsh thrusts, Edward's quick to follow and falls apart himself, pulling out and coming on my back.

The sound of our panting fills the room as I drop to the floor on my belly and Edward lays down beside me, still fully clothed. We don't say a word and merely lay in the darkness. When my mind starts working properly again, I feel a wave of guilt wash over me. _Jake…. Fuck._ A tear runs down my dirty cheek as I stare off into the darkness, ignoring the man beside me. _What on Earth have we done?_

 **A/N: And…. finally. I love writing lemons! Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13- Regret**

 **58 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **EPOV:**

She stirs beside me, resting her head against my chest. _What have I done?_ Regret fills my body, making it impossible to rest. I've stared into the darkness for hours, thinking about Kate, thinking about what I'm going to tell her when I see her again. I've never been unfaithful to a woman before, but things are different now. I don't know where my mind was when I was fucking Bella. _That's not true. I knew where my mind was. I was so relieved she was alive… I wanted to feel alive, too. I was afraid._ Knowing that any day could be our last on Earth, I want to make the most out of every second. So, was fucking Bella so wrong? Should I really feel so remorseful?

Another thought pops into my head. _Do I truly feel remorseful?_ Am I regretful, or am I just playing the role because I know it's how I should feel or what is expected of me to feel. I should feel bad for what I've done - I should want to change it… but honestly, I don't. It felt good. I haven't felt good in so long. And while I'll never do it again, I don't regret it. I feel so peaceful now. I feel like all the tension inside of me has been released. I've been wound up so tightly for so long, constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the absolute worst. And now, with Bella laying beside me, I can pretend that life isn't so horrifying. _How the fuck can you possibly feel good right now? Think about Kate! She's probably thinking of you right now, wondering when you'll make it to her. If only she could see you… if only she realized how deceitful you truly are!_

Gently, I push Bella off of my body and sit up, smacking myself in the face to release my frustrations. I cheated on Kate. I cheated on the one person I always thought I loved more than myself. Apparently, my desires came first. I never even looked at Bella in that way. Sure, I thought she was beautiful, but never before had I sexualized her. I care for her, of course. She's my friend; I can't help but care for her. But I never imagined fucking her like this. I never imagined I would sink so low I would cheat on the one woman who stuck by me through thick and thin. _Fuck. Fuck everything. How did I let things get so out of hand?_

Bella stirs beside me, finally realizing that I'm no longer holding her. Her eyelids flutter and she yawns as she stretches, beginning to wake-up. She peers up at me with a confused look on her face and her eyes widen as she glances down only to find she's naked under my jacket, which I had draped across her body to keep her warm.

"We need to get moving soon. I haven't heard any noise from outside the building for a very long time."

I need to get to Kate. Now, I miss her more than ever.

"It's so early. Can't it wait until the sun rises?"

I know she's being reasonable; going out at night is dangerous. However, I'm antsy to get out of here, not wanting to fully face what I've done. What _we've_ done. From the look on Bella's face, she feels just as guilty. Past her weariness, I can see her remorse. _She has someone in her life, too._

"I'd prefer if we left now."

"But-" she stops herself, taking in my dark gaze. "All right. We can leave now. Just give me a little bit of time to get ready. We also need to get as much food, water, and medicine as we can carry. We ran out of band-aids days ago and my feet are becoming one giant blister."

She forces out a laugh. I can tell she feels just as awkward about this as I do. She shouldn't feel awkward - _we_ shouldn't feel awkward. What's done, is done. There's no turning back. Besides, maybe the sex was good for us. We worked off some built-up tension, and could be more focused because of it. _Way to look on the brightside, Cullen. Whatever helps you sleep at night._

"I'll start filling up my bag while you get ready," I assure her. Taking in the crestfallen look on her face, I add, "What we did-"

"Was wrong," she whispers.

"It had to happen," I add out of nowhere, surprising myself. "It's natural. We needed to do that to survive. I feel like we both had so much stress. It was just a… well… _instinctual_ thing."

"Those things out there, they make their decisions on instincts, too."

My eyes widen in disbelief. "So, you're comparing what we did to _them_?"

"I'm saying we're no better." Her reply is weak, lacking conviction. She feels it, too. She feels like she should feel remorse… but doesn't. "We're no better because, like them, we're controlled by our instincts."

"So, what, you think those things out there are nothing more than animals?"

This hits close to home. I can see it in her eyes. She gulps, looking away before answering, "I don't know. I want to believe they're something more. I want to believe they're still attached to their humanity, but I don't know. I can't know. I'm not the one to look to for answers."

"But, yesterday they were on top of you, cannibalizing one of their own… didn't you come to some sort of conclusion about them? Do they seem human to you?"

She stares off into space. "No," she answers as a tear falls from her eye. She brushes it away. "No, I don't think they have even a thread of their humanity anymore. They just seem so… mindless. There isn't a trace of the person they once were."

"That's what I thought. They said it was a virus but now I'm thinking-"

"I have to get ready," she interrupts, standing up with my jacket covering all of her bits. She turns on her heel to leave, but before doing so, she comments, "Let's just put last night behind us. You're right, we needed it, but that doesn't make it right, Edward. Let's just forget it happened, and move on. Can you do that?"

"Yes."

"Good." She picks up her things and stalks off.

I watch her go, wishing I could say more. What we did together was more than "instinctual." At the time it felt that way. _No, at the time it felt like something more._ I push the thought away, knowing she and I can lead to nothing. Even if I weren't with Kate… Closing my eyes for a moment, I picture her in my mind, wishing she were here with me. If she was, my mind would be so much clearer. I wouldn't be so terribly confused. _What's more confused, my mind or my heart?_

Opening my eyes, I know what I have to do: keep moving forward. That's the only way to survive - moving forward with hope in your heart. Bella returns, now fully clothed and ready to get back on the road. She won't look at me. I notice this right away as she keeps her eyes on the floor and grabs her things without a word. She shouldn't feel ashamed, we both did something reprehensible; we were both unfaithful. At least we can share in that guilt. The constant stress had just worn us both down. It's no excuse - nothing is - but it's all I've got.

"You ready, Bella?"

Finally, her eyes meet mine. They're so tired - so sad. I'm captivated by them for a moment before she drops her gaze back to the floor. Seeing her this way is unsettling; for someone so strong all the time, she shouldn't be afraid of anything. She can face zombies, but she can't face me.

"Bella, I'm sorry."

"What's done, is done." She bites down on her lip. Her face flushes as she continues. "I'm sorry. I'm just not feeling like myself today. Sometimes, I'm worried that I barely recognize myself anymore."

Something's weighing on her mind, I can see it. The thought dances in her eyes and she continues to bite down on her lip, as if she were desperately trying to contain whatever thought she's entertaining. I want to ask, but part of me wonders if I should. I watch her as she hunches over her backpack, sorting through supplies as though her life depended on it. She's a lot like me when I'm trying to clear my mind. I cross the room and lower myself to the ground, kneeling at her side.

"I think that whatever's been troubling you… well, I think it's more than just last night. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm your friend, Bella. I'm here for you. You were there for me when I told you about Kate. You listened to me ramble on and on and never once complained. You're a caring person, but let someone else care for you every once and awhile."

"Someone did," she whispers, her eyes becoming wet with tears.

"Are they waiting for you, Bella. Do you know where they are?"

"Let's not talk about them," she replies firmly.

 _Them?_ Has she more than just a man in her life? Does she have a family, as well? _Bella, with a family of her own…_ Is she a mother? With her kind heart and giving nature, I could easily see her being a mom. I open my mouth to ask her more, but the hurt look in her chocolate brown eyes snaps my mouth shut.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she pauses, managing a small smile before she continues, "Thank you for what you said. If I would talk to anyone about this, I would talk to you." She pauses again and then giggles sadly. "What am I saying. If it weren't for you, I would have no one to talk to."

"Well, thanks a lot." I smirk, although, my voice feigns offense.

She rolls her eyes. "Other people crossed my path before you, you know? Of course, I avoided them at all costs. The only reason I stuck with you was because I trust you."

"And because we're headed the same way."

"And because of that."

** A New Dawn **

Back on our trek, we find nothing more than empty streets and dark ominous clouds rolling above. I gaze up at the dark skies, realizing it hasn't rained in a very long time. _When was the last time it rained? Before the outbreak?_ God, I can't remember. It's felt so blistering hot for so long, I forgot the world had another thing to offer us. I glance at Bella, who's basking in the cool breeze at my side. She looks relaxed, which is a huge relief. After this morning, I was unsure what our friendship was going to become. I feared she would stop talking to me entirely, which would be devastating, considering she's all I have now. Even if she weren't, I'd be just as hurt.

"Do you feel that?"

"What?" I ask, watching her as she tilts her face to the sky.

"It's going to rain soon. I love the rain."

"I can't say that I loved it before, but after days in the heat, I do now."

"You didn't like the rain?"

"Not particularly. Why are you so fond of it?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "My mom told me I used to play in the rain when I was a little girl. I would run outside as soon as I heard the droplets hit my window and would dance until she screamed at me to come in. I've always loved the water. Especially now. It feels like forever since it rained. I can't believe I was so wrapped up in everything, I hadn't noticed."

Lightening crackles through the sky, causing Bella's grin to widen. She takes off the ball cap she had stolen from me earlier just as the rain begins to fall. She smiles. Not just any smile, but a true smile. Her happiness illuminates her in my eyes, causing her to shine brightly against the darkness of the harsh skies. Sticking her tongue out, she catches droplets of rain water on its tip before smiling again. She looks so young - so happy. This must be what she looked like before the virus took its toll on our country: free and vibrant.

"Doesn't it feel wonderful?"

"I guess so," I answer, smiling.

"Isn't the sky beautiful like this?"

Looking at her, I answer, "Yes."

A growling in the distance is the only thing that tears my eyes away from her. Looking over my shoulder, I find a hoard of them coming toward us. I wish I could leave Bella to enjoy these few moments of happiness while I go deal with them on my own, but there's too many and I know that'd be impossible.

"Bella-"

"I hear them," she cuts me off, her head still titled toward the sky. "How close are they now?"

"A few yards away."

"Let's be quick about this, then. I think the lightning will start soon and I want to enjoy the show."

With that, she slips her gun out of its holster and faces the hoard of zombies coming directly for us. I wonder if the winds made it easier for them to smell us. That's how they hunt, after all; by smell and touch. From what I've gathered, it doesn't seem like they can see much of anything.

Fearless, Bella breaks out into a run and I'm quick to follow. She shoots one after another, quick to reload before killing even more. I'm so mesmerized by her skill, my kill count is miniscule compared to hers. After she's finished, she turns to me and breathes a sigh of relief.

"I killed twenty-seven," she proudly states.

"Is this a game now?" I question as I stow my guns.

"We need something to entertain us."

"I suppose so."

"What was your number?"

Something over her shoulder catches my eye. There's something written in white spray paint on an old highway sign. My legs move on their own accord as I pass Bella, making my way to the sign to get a better look. As soon as I can read the words, I stop, staring in disbelief.

 **Vantage Point**

 **Go straight**

 **Follow the map**

My eyes drop to the faded map nailed to the sign. It's a straight shot, a few miles into the woods. _We're so close._

"What is it?" I hear Bella ask as she approaches me.

She stands by my side, thoughtfully reading the sign before a sigh passes through her lips.

"You'll be reunited soon, then."

"I hope."

"You will. I know it."

Just a few more miles. We've come so far. I can make it a few miles more. _For Kate._ I close my eyes for a moment, allowing the image of her to fill my mind. Her sweet smile appears against the darkness of my eyelids and for a split second, I can feel the woman I love standing beside me. I bask in her warmth.

"Let's get moving, then," Bella says, moving away from my side and toward the street.

"There'll be a place for you there. I promise."

She stops and turns to face me. A sad smile tugs on her lips. "There won't. I have something I need to do. I'm happy for you, Edward. I'm thankful you came with me this far. But this is the end for me."

"At least stay for a night. Rest and have something to eat. It's a sanctuary. I'm sure they'll have something for you."

She mulls it over for a moment, rocking from one foot to the other, before nodding. "One night. One night and I'll be on my way. I know you wanted to help me, Edward, but you should see your face now. I knew that once we found her, that would be the end of the road for you. I've always known and I've never begrudged you for it because I knew if I were in your position, I would do the same."

"Bella-"

"I want you to be happy. At least give me that. Let me know that one of us has found happiness."

"We'll come with you," I insist.

She isn't convinced and I don't blame her. Instead of arguing, she begins to move toward the forest. "Let's talk about it tomorrow. Tonight, we'll find Kate."

 **A/N: So guys…. What do you think of this development in their relationship? See you guys tomorrow! Please leave a review. :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14- Realize**

 **58 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **BPOV:**

Their reunion is everything I expected it to be. They both have stars in their eyes as they look at each other. I'm happy for them… somewhat. When I look at them together, listening as they reminisce, I realize how much I miss Jake. I miss the warmth in his eyes as he looked at me; I miss his strong embrace. Closing my eyes, I see his image in my mind. He smiles at me, the deep wrinkle on his forehead crinkles as his entire face takes on a content expression. When he smiles, the light from within him is as clear as day. Even now, I can feel his tenderness. It's easy to imagine his arms around me. For a moment, as I sit by the warmth of the fire before me, I pretend his arms are around me; I pretend that I am _home_. So easily, I can picture us in bed together, nestled under the warmth of our sheets with Seth between us. _Seth…_ Tears prick my eyes as I remember my little boy. My final image of him haunts me. Those eyes… those grey, cloudy eyes… those weren't my son's eyes. Holding back my tears, I let go of the breath I didn't realize I was holding, my mind coming back to the matter at hand.

"There were so many of them. We went into the city and it was completely infested with the dead. You wouldn't believe it," Edward tells the group from his seat across the fire as Kate rests comfortably in his arms. She smiles up at him, her focus on him entirely. "Anyway, we managed to get supplies and get out safely. That's when I saw the sign directing survivors here."

"I knew you would find us," Kate says, her voice soft and sweet.

She's beautiful, but I knew she would be. They look so perfect together - painfully so. I look away, not fully understanding why my heart hurts like this. I know it's because I miss my own family. I know it's because I feel like an outlander in a world I no longer recognize. I miss that time when my life was simplistic. _God, the things I used to complain about. So laughable now._ Remembering my life feels like remembering scenes from a movie; the images in my mind don't feel like images I own, images I made. Instead, they feel like pictures from someone else's life entirely.

"I promised I would find you," Edward continues to say, "didn't I?"

My eyes rise to look at them again. As I study them, I find something I didn't see earlier. There's a tension between them, coming from both parties. Suddenly, I feel guilty. Looking at Kate, I cringe at the remembrance of my own actions. She doesn't deserve to have her partner be unfaithful to her; no one deserves that. I never thought I was capable of being the "other woman," but here I am. _Hell, Bella, you didn't believe yourself capable of murder, and look at you now._ A movement in the distance tears me from my thoughts. Walking into the campsite from the woods is a face I've yet to see. He's striking, with a tall build and broad shoulders. With a full, dark beard and equally dark eyes, he looks like a force to be reckoned with. Maybe if he were smiling, the vibe he's emitting would seem different, but he's not. His eyes are filled with anger, intensity, and a little confusion. I follow his gaze, and find that it's directed at Edward, who's completely oblivious to him.

He walks around them and makes his way toward my side of the fire. As I watch him, I start to notice that he's distant from the rest of the group. Everyone else seems to have their own tribe of sorts, while he's quiet and withdrawn. I don't blame him, so am I. Of course, I don't plan on staying here long. Tomorrow morning I'll be gone. It will be like I was never here. Before we reached the camp, Edward promised again and again he would come with me to D.C.. Part of me believed he would. Now, however, I find that those promises are ones he won't keep. I don't want him to keep them; I want him to be happy. He's searched for Kate for so long, why risk that happiness now and put both of their lives in danger. No, this is something I must do by myself. I won't let Edward throw his life away on something that's looking more and more like a lost cause.

I'll make this decision for him. Tomorrow morning, I'll wake-up before everyone else and be on my way. Perhaps I'll leave a note, some way to explain myself. I don't want him to hate me for this, but I doubt he will. Maybe he'll be grateful even. Maybe he'll see how deeply I care for him and his happiness. As soon as I saw his smile as he embraced Kate for the first time since their separation, I knew I couldn't be selfish about this. _As much as I'd like to be._

"Paul!" Edward exclaims, his eyes widening as he looks at the man a few feet away from me. "I thought I'd never see you again. How'd you make it out?"

The man beside me, Paul, relaxes, causing him to look years younger. With a small, wistful smile, he explains, "I don't remember much. After what happened to you, everything became a blur. I tried to carry you on my back, but I couldn't feel you breathing… It was horrible, Edward."

"I'm sorry, man."

Something about Paul seems off-putting. It's almost like he's unhappy to see his friend here. His reaction to Edward is hard to wrap my mind around. I couldn't imagine treating a friend like that. I turn my head to look at him, and when he feels my gaze, he turns his head to meet it, smiling at me in a way that's so forced and unconvincing, I feel myself moving away from him. I've always felt that I'm good at reading people, and Paul, to me, seems like bad news. I quickly, redirect my gaze, my eyes falling on Edward and Kate. My stomach twists into knots at the sight before me. He kisses her with a kiss that is so tender, I want to cry out for Jake. He handles her like she's the most precious thing in the world. Perhaps, to him, she is. I don't know why, but I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I'm going to get sick. Was it something I ate? We all ate the same food. _God, I might just embarrass myself and throw up right here._ Before I know it, I'm on my feet.

"I think I'll retire for the night. Thanks for dinner. It was lovely meeting all of you."

"Maybe you'll rethink leaving? You can stay as long as you like," Esme, who very much feels like the "mother" of this small group of survivors, says.

"I don't know about that. There's something personal I have to take care of."

"I understand. But you know how to get here now. There's always a place for you here."

I look to Edward and Kate, to find that they're so wrapped up in each other, they're ignoring my interaction with Esme entirely. I look back to Esme, who's so hopeful about everything it makes my heart ache. Sanctuaries have a tendency to not stay around long. For one reason or another - zombie infestation, _human_ infestation - they dismantle. By the time I'm done in D.C., I doubt this place will even be here. I don't tell her that, of course, and instead murmur a "thank you" before heading off to the extra tent they had "just in case."

As I settle in for the night, I realize how much I wish I could stay. Despite the strange pain in my heart, I like it here. I like the familial feeling this sanctuary provides. It would be nice to have a place that feels like home - _people_ who feel like home. With all these thoughts of Jake and Seth floating around in my mind, maybe I'm just being a tad sentimental, but I want a family again. Not to replace Jake and Seth, who will always be in my heart, but to almost replicate the feeling. Closing my eyes, I desperately will sleep to come. As much as I love my two guys at home, I don't want to think about them… it's too depressing. I also can't handle thinking of Edward and Kate… who are up to God knows what. Before I know it, I'm tearing up again, but this time, I let myself cry. Although, I don't know what exactly I'm crying about, I relish in the comfort the tears give me. It feels good to cry. _It feels so good to feel. Before Edward, I felt nothing but numbness. Now, I feel everything._

** A New Dawn **

I'm up before dawn breaks. Venturing out of my tent, the grass is wet from the dew that had fallen overnight, and everything is quiet. _Good, everyone is still asleep._ Quietly, I gather my things from the tent and with my note to Edward in hand, I cross the grass, moving toward the center of camp that is marked by a fire pit and lawn chairs. As I walk, I consider staying put. _I could be happy here. Why risk going any further? I don't even know where I am now._ With Seth's smiling face in my mind's eye, I push those considerations far away. I need to keep going for Seth, just like I promised I would. He's my son; he will always be my son no matter what virus takes him. I can't forget that.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I apologize, although no one's around to hear it. I place the note carefully on his chair from last night and turn to leave, intending to walk back in the direction we came to get back onto the road. The road is far easier to navigate. The forests can quickly become an endless maze to get sucked into.

With tears misting my eyes, I head back into the wealth of trees, making sure to be as quiet as possible as to not wake anyone in the group. Once I make it a few yards away from the camp, I can finally breathe again. I hear a rustling in the trees behind me, causing my heart to leap into my throat. When I turn, I find nothing. Perhaps it's my mind playing tricks on me, or maybe it's just wishful thinking. Although I don't want to admit it, part of me wishes Edward would follow me. Part of me wishes he would insist on coming with me and truly mean it. _The sound was only the wind, Bella. You can't lose your head this early on._

I'll miss him. I'm miss him more than he'll ever know. But I won't feel regret. I did what is right. I can deal with the pain if it means he gets to be happy. Isn't that what true friendship is? I'm sure he would do it for me. Hell, I'm sure he would do it a thousand times over. He was a good friend. _No, he was the best._ He protected me when I needed protection; comforted me when I needed another person's warmth; allowed me to cry when I felt like I was alone in the world… I don't think he could comprehend what his friendship meant to me. In the short time I knew him, he changed me. Because of him, I am stronger. Because of him, I can continue to fight.

"Do you know how much I fucking care about you?" A deep voice questions, followed by a female moaning.

"No, not so loud."

I follow the voices, my curiosity getting the better of me. Are these voices people from the camp? I barely know them enough for their voices to sound familiar to me.

"Yes! Kate, up until yesterday you wanted this."

She moans again.

"Up until yesterday, I thought my boyfriend was dead."

"Let's not talk. Not now."

She doesn't argue.

A few more steps and I see them. Kate and the man from last night. _God, what's his name… Edward knew him. Who was he…? Paul! His name was Paul. Wasn't he Edward's… no, he couldn't be his friend. What is this?_ My eyes quickly become glued to the sight before me. Paul, thrusting into the girl we've been looking for, for weeks. Before I can stop myself, I walk out into the small clearing and make my presence known.

"What the hell are you two doing?" I whisper, my voice shaky as I stare on in disbelief.

They both look at me for a moment, confused, before he pulls out and stuffs his cock back into his jeans. Kate covers up, but she doesn't look as remorseful as I think she ought to. Last night, she was looking at Edward like he was her world and now _this_?

"We looked for you for weeks."

"Who the fuck are you?" Paul asks.

Ignoring him, I continue, "He talked about you all the time - about finding you, both of you! He would get this smile on his face when he said your name, Kate, and… God, don't you understand how much that man loves you?"

"I thought he was gone. I swear I did," she defends. "You don't know what that does to a person."

My body softens. I _do_ understand what it does. Guilt floods me as I realize I did something similar with her boyfriend. We fucked… once… it was perfect at the time. And I didn't feel guilty about it until I saw her. As much as I want to hate her, I can't. It would be so hypocritical for me to hate her for being just like me. But I can't contain my frustrations. After how far we've come, this happens? It almost seems like a joke. There's the reasonable part of me that understands and sympathizes with her position, but there's the unreasonable part of me that wants to choke the ever-loving shit out of her for hurting the man who has quickly become everything to me.

"He's been looking for you this entire time. He told me that as soon as he woke up, he thought of you. As soon as he woke up, he began searching."

Tears fill her eyes. _Good._

"I never meant to hurt him. Things just happen."

There's a rustling in the trees behind me, and Kate's eyes widen as she looks over my shoulder.

"Edward. Baby, I'm so sorry."

"I don't understand."

I turn to watch him as he walks into the clearing. I wonder how long he's been standing there. If the look on his face is any indication, he's been standing there for a while.

"I asked you. I asked if anything had happened while I was away and you told me no. You lied to me. Why? I was honest with you."

"I don't know," she's quick to respond as my mind's reeling. _Edward told her about us? Good for him._ "I didn't want you to look at me differently."

"But you could look at me differently?"

Paul stands up, and Edward's entire frame stiffens as he looks at his former friend.

"I didn't want her to say anything. We were looking for an easy way to break things to you. We've been looking for an easy way for a while."

 _Oh, God._

"A while? What the fuck does that mean?"

"I think you know."

Edward's at my side one second and the next second he's gone. It takes my mind a moment to play catch-up before I realize Paul's on the ground and Edward's on top of him, his hands around his throat. Kate screams, watching the two men in her life with wide-eyes as they wrestle around her feet. Paul gets the upper hand for a moment, punching Edward in the face before Edward manages to get a knee to the groin and a punch of his own.

"Stop it!" I hear myself scream, too enthralled to realize I'm shouting the words. "He's not worth it, Edward! Stop!"

He doesn't. He punches and punches until Paul is unconscious underneath him. As soon as Edward rises to his feet, I drop to Paul's side. Despite my hatred for the man, I make sure he's still breathing. As I'm checking Paul's vitals, I hear Edward ask, "Has this been going on since before the…?" He can't manage to finish his own question.

"Yes," Kate whispers in response.

"That's all I needed to know."

"I love you. Edward, you know I love you. I was just so lonely, and Paul was there…"

"Do you love him?"

"I don't know."

"I think I've heard all I needed to hear."

Edward turns to leave as I rise from the ground, my hands covered in Paul's blood.

"Where are you going?" Kate questions, taking a step toward him.

He turns and looks at her for a long time. This time, his eyes aren't filled with an ounce of love. This time, he looks at her like he's seeing her for the first time.

"I wish you all the happiness in the world, Kate, but I'm moving on. Good luck here." He turns his attention to me. "Bella, you ready to go? Judging by your 'Dear John' note, it seems you're in a hurry."

I gulp, taken aback by the intensity in his gaze. "Y-yes," I manage to stutter out.

"Good." Turning his attention back to the girl he's loved for so long, he says, "Good-bye, Kate," and turns back toward the camp, disappearing into the trees by himself.

 **A/N: So, Kate's no longer in the picture. Thank, God! Please keep reviewing! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 - Nightmares**

 **3 Days Since the National Outbreak**

 **BPOV:**

" _ **A virus spreads through the nation, sending hundreds of people to the hospital to be quarantined. Our field reporter, April Clark, is at UNMH to tell us more. April?"**_

" _ **Yes, Angela, I'm standing outside of UNMH, and after speaking with hospital officials it seems that in the past few days many have been hospitalized for flu like symptoms; although the exact virus, is still unknown."**_

"Mommy, my arm still itches."

Tearing my eyes away from the television, I look at my son, who still, despite all the over-the-counter creams I applied, has an odd rash. He's had it for an hour or so, and my mind doesn't want to begin to consider what it could mean. It looks like the hand, foot, and mouth disease he had as a baby, but itches like his skin is infested with chiggers. Ignoring the rash, I pull him into my arms and he immediately nestles up comfortably in my lap. I kiss his forehead, noting the warmth against my lips. My entire body freezes, stiffening against the small body of my five-year-old son. _No… it's not possible. Since the news broke, we've been so careful._ He's burning up in my arms. Pulling back to look at his face, which is still covered in a layer of baby fat, he's flushed and sweat gathers above his browline. Watching him, I remind myself of the symptoms of the virus in my head. It starts with a rash and a sore throat, then the sweats begin and a fever… Closing my eyes, I remember the horrors. _Decaying flesh, insatiable appetite, loss of vision, a phenomenal heightened sense of hearing and smell, loss of brain function…_

I know there's more to what they're choosing to disclose to us on the news. They don't want to scare the public, I understand that, but we have a right to know the truth. We have the right to know, so we understand how to fight this. All they are divulging to the public, which I'm sure is only a fraction of what they know, is that the virus is contracted through bodily fluids. Which is puzzling because I was certain a virus like this had to be airborne, considering the amount of people who've been affected. We haven't seen any cases at the hospital I work at, which has given me a false sense of security. It all seemed like a twisted nightmare and never felt like reality… until now. When something doesn't touch you personally, it's hard to truly understand it. We all feel invincible, until our time comes.

"Sweetheart, does anything hurt?" I timidly ask, almost not wanting to know the truth as I feel around his body for some sort of defect or indication that he's been harmed.

"My leg, Mommy. It keeps burning me."

"It feels hot?" _Why didn't he say something earlier?_ "Has it been hurting for a while?"

"No long, Mommy."

"Let Mommy pull your sweatpants down and see, okay? Is it okay if I look?"

He seems hesitant for a moment, but consents. I gently pull down his sweats and find red, blistering, irritated skin. Horror blooms inside me as my eyes travel from his _Avengers_ underwear to the teeth marks on his upper right thigh. _What the hell could have done this?! When did it happen?_ A shaky breath escapes my mouth. I can't allow him to see how horrified I am. Most of his emotions still mirror mine and if he sees my fear, he'll be fearful, too. Instead, I pretend nothing's wrong. I feel him growing worse in my arms. _We can play make-believe, can't we? Just for a little while?_

"Have I told you how much I love you today, Seth?"

Despite the obvious pain in his body, he giggles at this, grinning up at me. "Yeah, Mommy. Five times," he replies, holding up five little fingers. "Silly, Mommy."

"Mommy is silly, isn't she? Well, I guess I'll have to tell you again. I love you so much, Seth. Do you know how much?"

He knows. I've said it to him thousands of times, but still, he plays along.

Shaking his head, he asks, "How much?"

"I love you, Seth. I love you all the way to the moon and back!"

He throws his head back and giggles, but when he looks back at me I notice his eyes are beginning to grow cloudy. Tears fill my eyes, and I pick him up, quickly crossing the room to get to my phone. We only have one car, and Jake is using it today for work, leaving me with no method of taking him to the hospital. I know my neighbors won't want to risk taking him, so I dial for emergency services. I'm immediately put on hold.

Seth must since my fear because he's growing agitated in my embrace.

"How much do you love Mommy, Seth?"

He squints at me, as if he can barely see me, and answers, "Moon and back, Mommy."

I'm still on hold. Tears fill my eyes as I look at my little boy, who is quickly fading away. Just this morning he was fine. Just this morning I gave him a bath and watched him play in the mountains of bubbles. Just this morning I dressed him and read him his favorite stories. When could this have happened? The only time he was out of my sight was when he played in our fenced in backyard while I prepared lunch. But that was only for about thirty minutes and I'd been keeping an eye on him through the kitchen window. Before I know it, I'm moving toward the sliding glass doors which lead to our backyard. I peer outside, talking to Seth mindlessly as I look for anything out of the ordinary. Anything which could have hurt my little boy. That's when I see it… It's body is small, but I can still make it out from where I stand. It's a little boy… or _was_ a little boy. Now, it looks like something out of a horror movie. I gasp, tears beginning to fall from my eyes as I think of my little boy trying to play with that _thing._ Seth probably thought he was lonely; he probably thought that, that thing needed a friend. My little boy has always been so thoughtful, never wanting to see anyone upset.

"What wrong, Mommy?"

When I look back down at him, I wonder if he can even see me, his eyes are so incredibly clouded. My eyes shoot to the clock. It's just after eleven o'clock in the afternoon; Jake should be home from work in forty-five minutes for his lunch break. If I can't get an ambulance here by then, he'll be able to take our baby to the hospital.

"Nothing's wrong, buddy. Why don't we read a book while we wait for daddy to come home?"

He nods. While he's still Seth, he's not as energetic as he was just an hour before. Usually when I mention reading a book to him, he's bouncing with excitement, but now, he's as still as a corpse in my arms. I pretend he was the same boy he was yesterday as I carry him to his room. I settle in the rocking chair we've had since he was a baby and rest him gently on my lap before reaching for his favorite book: _Where the Wild Things Are_.

"Want to read your favorite book, buddy?"

He doesn't respond, he's completely still in my arms. With the sound of "hold" music playing on my cell phone being the only sound in the quiet room, I begin to read.

"The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another…"

I watch him as I read, looking for any sign of my boy still being in there. Of course, there's none. He sits quietly on my lap, nodding in and out of consciousness. I look at my phone, aggravated that I'm still on hold. Although, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. The whole world is falling apart and I honestly believed I would receive some sort of help. No one's here to help us. That's clear now. Perhaps the emergency services have already given up… I look back to the clock, realizing Jake's arrival is my only chance - _our_ only chance. After seeing that thing in my backyard, I don't know what else is out there. _I don't want to imagine what's out there._

"And into the night of his very own room, where he found his supper waiting for him."

My little boy is no longer moving. He hasn't been for a while. I can feel him breathing, though. I feel the slight rise and fall of his chest against my torso. Bending down, I kiss his forehead, wondering if he can feel it. He must because he looks up at me, with eyes which are no longer his own. _These aren't the eyes of my little boy. Is he even in there anymore?_

"Did you like that, sweetheart?"

No answer. I look at the clock. Jake should be home in about fifteen minutes.

"Time for one more and then Daddy's going to be home."

Picking up another one of his favorites, I begin to read. He's so still in my arms, I almost forget he's there. When the sound of the obnoxious "hold" music becomes too much, I turn the phone off, realizing no one's coming to help us. _Jake will be home soon. Jake will come home_ , I keep telling myself over and over as I read to my little boy. I can't tell if he's listening, but his eyes are on the page. _But can he see anymore?_ I don't want to accept this. I can't accept this. _Jake will be home soon. Jake will be home soon._

I hear the front door open as I finish the final page of our storybook. Tossing the book on the ground, I rise with Seth comfortably in my arms, bounding down the hallway to find my husband. Seth is limp and as I carry him, I wonder what Jake will say upon seeing him. When he left this morning, he said good-bye to his normal, happy little boy. And now… God, now he's practically unrecognizable. His appearance may be different, but I love him just as I did. Just as I always will.

"Let's go say hi to Daddy, buddy."

"Bells? Bella, did you see the news. We were watching it at work and they think-"

He stops speaking as soon as he sees us.

"Seth's sick. We have to get him to a hospital."

"What in the fucking hell. Bella… why didn't you call me earlier?"

Tears fall from my eyes. "I… didn't… think… It all happened so quickly! I don't know what's happening!" I sob. "Make it stop, Jake! Please, I just want it to stop."

As I breakdown, Jake reaches for Seth, taking him out of my arms and looking at him - _really_ looking at him for the first time. I watch through my tear filled eyes as my husband breaks down, too. Seth has no reaction. Not that I expected one from him.

"Bella, I don't know what to do. Did you watch the news today? There's a bunch of these special units at the hospitals. They're military, doing God knows what and everyone who's being admitted is either being quarantined or killed, or both. They're running these tests on people, trying to find a cure, but no one's surviving them." He studies me for a moment, wiping away the few tears that had escaped his eyes, before continuing, "We're on our own, Bella. We have to stay safe - for Seth. We'll bide our time until they find a way to fix this. They always do."

He's so optimistic. I'm not sure if I feel the same way. Sure, they may find a cure… but they might not.

"We have to save him, Bella."

"So, he's… he's one of them?"

"What do you think? Does he look all right to you?" He pauses for a moment, shifting Seth so he's comfortably resting on his hip. "I'm sorry. It's just…"

"I understand. Say no more. We'll find a-"

That's when it happens. Slowly, and then all at once. Seth becomes animated in his father's arms, finally seeming aware. He begins to grind his jaw. I can hear the bones in his face _creak_ under the pressure he's putting on them. His jawbone nearly dislocates as it moves, unsettling me from my stance a few feet away. Jake doesn't notice at first, not even considering that his son would harm him. But he does. With one snap of his jaw, Seth bites into my husband's neck.

"Jake!" I scream, reaching for Seth and pulling him away from his father.

Jake falls to the ground, covering his spewing wound with his right hand as he leans against the hallway wall. Not knowing what else to do, I take Seth into the kitchen. He snaps in my direction as I walk toward our cupboard, rifling through it to find something to tie him down. I finally find some rope in a drawer near the trash can, thankful that I had once been so obsessed with crafting that I went out and purchased supplies for every craft I wanted to create.

"It's okay, sweetheart," I say in a calming tone as I take him toward the kitchen table with the rope in hand. "Everything will all be okay, soon. Mommy promises."

He continues with his attempts to bite me and I'm mindful of them as I tie him to the chair. With tears in my eyes, I wrap the rope around the life I brought into this world… the person I love more than my own life. How could I live with myself if I let this be his end? How could someone so beautiful, die so horribly? This can't be death… this can't be! It's just a virus. Everyone has said that it's just a virus. A virus that's now been passed on to Jake, too…

"Mommy loves you, baby," I whisper as I finish tying the knot.

I leave his side to find Jake and to my horror, he's already experiencing the side effects of the bite. Curled up on the ground, he's shaking, the fever already beginning. I help him off the ground, trying desperately to avoid his blood as I usher him to the kitchen, too.

"You'll have to stay here, Jake. I'll find a way to help, but you have to stay here first, okay? I just have to take some precautions."

"Do it, Bells. Before anything happens."

He takes a seat at the kitchen table as I grab more rope. With tears in my eyes, I return, wanting to smack myself so I'll wake-up and find this was all one horrible dream. But it isn't. This horrifyingly fantastical world is our realty now.

"I don't want to leave you," I whisper, mostly to myself, as I wrap the rope around his body.

"You have to! Go get help, Bella. There must be something that can be done."

"I will," I promise as I knot the rope tightly around his torso and the chair. I look at him for a moment, memorizing every single one of his features. I'll see him again, one way or another, I will. But, I want something to carry with me in my mind. I want to remember his loving eyes and warm face. I want to remember him, now, and not what he'll become when the virus takes its toll. I want to remember my husband, just like I want to remember my son. Leaning forward, I press my lips against his, kissing him like I'll never have the chance to do so again.

"I love you, Jake. Forever."

I hear something scratching against our sliding glass doors and pull away from my husband. Jake's eyes widen in terror and as I begin to turn my head, he grabs it, stopping me from seeing whatever's out there. He kisses me with as much passion as his body can muster. I know it's not safe… but I can't help it. If my family has become this, I want to become it, too. _Stop it, Bella! You mustn't think that way! You have to save them._ I pull away, although, I'm sure it's already too late.

"Lock yourself in the bedroom closet, baby. Lock yourself in and don't come out until they're gone."

"What about you?"

"We're too far gone. Baby, go!"

As I turn to move toward our bedroom, I see _them_ and my heart nearly stops at the sight. So many of _them_ … So many dead bodies reanimated and trying to get inside. I give my family one last look before I move toward the cupboard, locking myself in as soon as the sliding glass door breaks.

 **57 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **EPOV:**

"You don't have to come with me, Edward. I understand if you want-"

"There's nothing here for me. Not anymore."

"There's safety… there's shelter… If you come with me, I can't guarantee any of that!"

"So, what? I should just let you go out there and die alone? Besides, what the hell do I have here, Bella? Everything I thought I knew was a fucking lie! I just want to erase this from my mind… I just want a fresh start. Can't you give me that? A fresh start. Isn't that what I deserve. You deserve it, too. Whatever it is you're looking for in D.C., we'll find it together. I know you've said time and time again that you're looking for a cure but I know it's more than that. I know there's something you're not telling me."

"Edward…"

"It's fine, Bella. You don't have to tell me anything. I wouldn't pressure you like that. I'll go with you. I don't need to know why we're doing this. I'll do it for you, Bella."

She smiles at this, looking absolutely exhausted all of a sudden. "Thank you," she whispers.

"You're welcome. Now, we better get on the road soon. I'd like to get as far away from here as possible."

"Sounds good to me."

I stalk off, and she follows quickly behind. Something's weighing on her mind, I can feel it. "What is it?"

"Nothing. I'm just sorry that-"

"Look, let's just forget it happened, okay? It's old news to me already. There's so much wrong in this world. I should've known. I shouldn't have hoped."

"Sometimes hope is all we have left."

As much as I want to reply with a jaded comment, the morose tone to her voice keeps me silent. If she has hope in her heart, I will not take it from her. Right now, she's the only light I have.

 **A/N: Sorry I didn't update yesterday! I ended up going out with one of my friends for a drink last minute. So, I'm updating twice tonight before I go out! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know it was a pretty sad one. Please keep reviewing! You all have been so amazing with reviews. Sorry I so bad at replying to them. I do read and appreciate them all!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16- Search for Answers**

 **60 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **EPOV:**

Her hope is dwindling, I can feel her sadness radiating off of her body in waves. In spite of our progress, she hasn't smiled in days. And, despite my own misfortunes, I've been desperately trying to see her face light up. _If even for a moment._ One smile from her could illuminate us both from the darkness surrounding us. _This whole journey has been nothing but darkness… nothing but pain._

Every night, I ask her why she's going on this journey - why she's so desperate to make it to the CDC. What could they possibly tell her? The world around us is so bleak, so depressing, that I highly doubt we'll hear a single positive word. How could anyone fix this? Everything has deteriorated so quickly. Frankly, I can barely remember what the world looked like before all this happened. Staring at the road full of abandoned vehicles ahead of us, I realize I miss traffic. I miss seeing humans practically overflowing in the cities. With dead bodies lining the roads and blood splatters and destruction everywhere, I barely recognize Nashville as we drive into the city to gather more supplies. With twilight fast approaching, I know we've got to be quick. My body is already practically buzzing with nerves as I consider the possibility of facing another hoard of zombies, wondering how many more close calls I can take. Images from last night fill my mind. I almost lost her… My eyes quickly leave the road and shoot to Bella, finding her sitting silently at my side. Once again, I thought I lost her, and once again I fucked her into the early hours of the morning.

Even now, I can feel the softness of her bare skin pressed against mine. While I needed to feel her alive and well, it was more than that… far more than that. I need to exorcise Kate from my mind. After what she did… Well, there's no forgiving it. I'm sure that is far more hypocritical than I care to admit, but it's true. We're both different people now. Or, perhaps, we always were. Maybe we've always been different and I just never cared to notice it until now. I was comfortable with her, but did I truly love her like I thought I did? Was I just confused? No, I know I loved her at one point in my life. There was a point in time, when I was younger and less jaded, that I did love her. She was right for me once, but not anymore. It's clear that she's felt the same way for some time. Were we too comfortable to admit it to each other? Or were we just too deluded. Perhaps we both believed ourselves to be in love. Fuck, I don't know. Now that our lives have all been cut short, I'm not going to waste mine on a woman I don't love. I'll look to the future - whatever future I may have. _Can one truly look toward the future in a world like this?_

"Edward! The road!"

I slam on the break just in time to avoid swerving into an abandoned car on the side of the road.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

She nods, leaning over to check the fuel gauge.

"Almost empty," she murmurs. "We should go ahead and dump this car before it runs out of gas, while we're still in an area with plenty of abandoned cars. Otherwise, we might have to walk for a while before we find another car."

I nod and slowly park the car that's gotten us a few hundred miles on the side of the road. Sliding out of the driver's seat, I grab my stuff and cross the front of the car to open her door for her. Just as I'm about to reach for it, she swings it open, grabbing her things, as well.

"Maybe we can find another car after we've gathered our supplies."

"Sure." She shrugs. "We can't stay out long, though. It will be dark soon enough."

"Do you want to set up camp inside the city somewhere?"

"No, I want to keep on driving."

"We can't drive through the night. It's dangerous."

"If we drive through the night, we could be there by tomorrow afternoon. We've stopped too many times. I just want to get there," she grits out, obviously frustrated with me.

For the first few days of the trip, I was basically useless, despite wanting to try for her. After finding out the truth about the two people I trusted the most, part of me wanted to give up. Bella was the only thing that kept me going. I knew she couldn't make this journey alone, regardless of her comments on the contrary. She's strong, but no one's strong enough to face _this_ by themselves. In fact, part of what kept me going was her strength. Seeing her so fierce, fighting in ways I believed I never could, was inspiring. She's faced violence, death, and destruction and it's made her into a warrior. At least, that's what I see when I look at her. Only when I'm inside of her, do I feel her soften and let her guard down. In those moments it feels like she forgets about everything else. In those moments, there's just us… how I wish it always could be.

She leads the way as we search for supplies. She likes to feel in charge; in a world of chaos, it's nice to feel in control of something, even if it is something so small. We scavenge what's left in the different shops and convenience stores. Our own clothes being putrid, we gather new outfits and change. For a moment, I feel like a new man. My eyes rise from my brand new boots to find Bella, standing completely still a few yards away from me wearing a new shirt, a jacket and underwear. She's not looking at me. Instead, she's staring at the kids' clothing section. Hesitantly, I go to her, wondering what has caused her sudden change in demeanor. A moment ago she was fine but now… now she looks to be on the verge of tears.

"Bella…?" I begin to question, wishing I could find the right words to say to her. I've never been good at comforting people and I don't have a single notion as to what's wrong with her. Her eyes well up with tears and this time, I can't help but question, "What is it?"

My eyes follow her line of sight, to find her looking at a small selection of boys' shoes. Maybe I'm right… maybe she is a mother. Maybe her little boy is out there somewhere in the world missing her, while she's here, by my side missing him.

"I'm so sorry. If you need to talk-"

"I don't want to talk. I just want to stop thinking about this. Every day, he's all I see… all I think about. I wish I could forget for a moment. But then, I feel guilty for even _thinking_ that. I shouldn't want to forget him. He's my son. What kind of mother wants to forget their only child?"

Tears stream down her face as I pull her against me. She buries her face in my neck, sobbing until she can't cry anymore. I hold her in my arms the whole time, never letting her go. She fights me, she cries out, she sobs some more, and I never lose my grip. She's my lifeline, doesn't she get that? And maybe I'm hers… or is that just wishful thinking on my part?

"We'll get him back."

"I'm not so sure," she whispers.

"Why not? You've been so optimistic up until now."

"No, I've been deluding myself about everything. I was hanging onto hope and now, I don't think I should have. Do you see those things out there, Edward? Do they look like they're ever going to be cured? Do they look like they should have any hope?! They're not people - at least, not anymore. God, I've been so fucking naive. I just… I don't know what to think anymore."

"Is he… is your son…" God, it sounds too awful to even question aloud.

"I don't want to talk now. Please don't make me. Can't I just forget for a moment? Is that so wrong of me to want?"

"No." I pause, looking upon her crestfallen face. "Is that why you're so desperate to make it to D.C.? Is that why you're so desperate to look for a cure?"

She remains silent, and instead of replying, she presses her full lips against mine, answering my question. My heart breaks for her. Her kiss is so desperate, as if she's searching for something and is terrified that she'll never find it. Her hands frantically move down my body, caressing me for a moment before reaching down to unbuckle my pants and unzip my fly. I'm shocked she wants to do this here, especially after the revelation I've just had, but I suppose I shouldn't be. I understand the need for skin to skin contact, for comfort when you believe all hope is lost.

Slowly, I lower her to the floor beneath me as she yanks my pants and underwear down. I pull away to breathe, but she doesn't seem to need air. Her lips frantically search for mine as her eyes remain closed as she waits for my touch.

"Bella, baby, slow down," I tell her, as she thrusts her hips against me.

There's something about this time that's different. This is more than fucking. We both know that. Just the way she moves against me is different. This change feels as though it's been building for days between us. Our desire, mixed with so many emotions I can't name, sparks in the air surrounding us. We both feel it as I finally thrust inside of her. She gasps, then moans and shudders against me. Usually, I plow into her until I can't hear my own thoughts, until I forget all about the pain in my heart, but this time, I take things slow.

My lips move gently against hers, tempering her violent desperation. She wants it hard and fast, but I'm not in the mood to give that to her. I need it slow; I need this time with her to be meaningful. Our days seem so numbered now, and being with her this way makes me feel so incredibly alive. As I thrust into her warm center, I wonder how I went without this my entire life. She's so different; she's everything. Her lips consume me completely as her body opens up further for mine.

"You're perfect. Do you know that?" I question as I continue to move slowly, deeply within her.

She gasps for air, tugging on my hair as her body begs for me to move faster. I reach down and grab her hip with my right hand, my nails digging slightly into her skin as I try to calm her needy movements. I kiss her gently, wanting her to feel how much I care for her. Instead she bites down on my bottom lip, drawing blood before pulling away and smiling up at me with lustful eyes. She looks so carefree - so much younger than she did mere moments before. I lick my bottom lip, tasting the iron of my blood. Now, I can't help myself, I begin to pick up my pace, allowing my cock to plow into her. We can make love together later, but for now, on the floor of a store with most of our clothes still on, I just want to rock against her until we both reach our own little euphoria.

"You're perfect," she finally replies, sounding breathless. "Did you know that? You make me forget about..." she has to pause, gasping for air as I pound into her, "everything else. When I'm with you, like this, I forget."

After a few more thrusts, she falls apart, crying out as she rides the waves of her orgasm. When I feel mine approaching, I thrust once more before pulling out, working myself over her stomach. With my free hand, I pull her shirt up, revealing her bra and cleavage, giving myself room to come on her bare skin. She watches me, her eyes transfixed on the sight of me touching myself, and that image of her alone is enough to throw me over the edge. I come all over her, feeling freer than I have in days. I feel all the tension in my body release as I come. I smile, feeling content as I move off of her and join her on the floor. Reaching for her old shirt, I wipe my cum away, despite enjoying the way it looks on her pale skin.

"Thank you," she whispers, nuzzling up against me as soon as I'm stretched across the floor at her side. "I needed that."

"So, did I. Although, it was more than just that, Bella. It was-"

"Don't," she murmurs, unable to look at me. "I feel the same way, but don't. Not now. Not yet. Maybe… maybe we're both just under a lot of stress. Maybe we're both just confused."

"Is that what you think this is?"

"No," she replies without hesitation. "It's just… I can't give myself to you. You have to understand that. Maybe if things were different and we were under far different circumstances."

"I understand."

I do. I truly do understand and I don't harbor a single negative feeling toward her. She has so much going on in her life and so do I. We can't get lost in love. Now that I know why she's doing this, I can't allow anything to jeopardize our mission to save her son. That would be selfish of us, and love - if that's really what this is - is not selfish. But fuck, would I like to be selfish. I'd like to never leave this store. I'm sure part of her feels the same way.

"Should we get going? If you don't want to spend the night in the city, we have to go find a car and be on our way."

She hesitates for a moment, weighing her options as her eyes move back to the small display of kids' shoes. "Yeah, we need to get going. Let's get our stuff together and head out," she responds sadly.

As we head out of the shop we were in, I can't help but feel anxious about what awaits us. What if she receives bad news. What if, with all the months that have past since the virus started to spread, they still haven't found a cure. How long can they work on one with the world crumbling around them? I want Bella to be happy; I want her son to be safe, but what if being hopeful truly is being delusional like she previously said? I keep my mouth shut about my fears as we make our way out into the city. It's pitch-black without the city lights. The jarring sounds of moans in the distant sends a shiver down my spine. So many of their voices coming from so many directions. Bella is still by my side as if she were calculating her next move.

"I can go hotwire a car and drive it here if you're willing to wait."

"No," she says instantly, her voice frightened, "I want to go with you."

"It's not-"

"You need me to watch your back," she reasons.

She's right, I probably will need her, especially if all of my focus is on hotwiring a car. "Fine, but stay mindful. Do you have those flashlights?"

She nods and quickly slides her backpack off of her shoulders, rifling through it before pulling out the two small, LED flashlights we found under a pile of clothes at a sporting goods store. She turns one on and passes it to me with a shaky hand before turning on her own. She then zips up her backpack and slides it back onto her shoulders. With our small source of light in hand, we venture out into the darkness.

After only a few steps onto the street, we grab our knives, knowing that the sounds of gunfire will draw too much attention. While I hate using the knife, hating the blood that will inevitably splash against my face, my companion doesn't seem to mind one bit. She takes down one after another, barely pausing to breathe, as we fight our way toward several abandoned cars. It's difficult, not only hotwiring a car, but finding a car to hotwire that has a full tank of gas. I've learned to choose a car with bodies still inside… which can be tricky for many reasons but my reasoning behind this is, if the bodies are still in the car, it probably means they didn't abandon it because it ran out of gas.

My knife plunges into three more heads before I reach a car that looks promising. It's an older model Honda Civic with an older couple dead inside. From the looks of the bloodstains on the windows and interior, they didn't die from natural causes. I don't have time to mourn their deaths, not with so many of the living dead moving around us. Instead, I pull them gently from the car while Bella pulls out her pistol and keeps a lookout. Hearing the sounds of the dead approaching, I'm quick to get the car going. However, my hopes are dashed as soon as I realize there's less than a quarter of a tank of gas. I look through the windshield to find a group of those things approaching us. _Well, I guess we'll just have to make due for now._

"Bella, get in the car, it's ready."

She turns to me and nods, putting the safety on her gun and sliding it back into her holster before walking to the passenger side door. I put the car in drive as soon as she shuts the door and is safely inside.

"I have an idea," I murmur as I look at the group of at least twenty zombies moving toward us.

"An idea? What are you talking about?"

She must somehow feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. Why should we be wasting our bullets if we don't have to? This car is practically out of gas and we would have to leave it behind anyway. Why not use the vehicle to our advantage?

"Are you thinking, what I'm thinking?"

She looks at my grip on the steering wheel and the group moving slowly toward us. Her eyes dart back and forth before a smile finally tugs on her sweet, but chapped lips.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, there's a first time for everything," I comment as I move my foot to the gas pedal.

As we crash into their bodies, a feeling of liberation overwhelms me. They fly over the hood of the car, looking more dead than ever. Blood and guts splatter the windshield and the old car jars back and forth as bodies pile up in front of us. I slam on the gas, propelling us over the bodies, crushing them under the tires as the car flies into the air. Bella gasps beside me, holding onto the dashboard as we come crashing back down to the street. I look in the rearview mirror and find that the hoard of zombies is now smeared along the road.

"Holy shit," Bella murmurs, leading my eyes to follow her line of sight.

The hood of the car is smoking. I swing open my car door just as she does the same. I grab my backpack from the backseat as Bella sprints from the car with her backpack and gun in her grasp. I follow her into the darkness, knowing the car is moments away from lighting up the night. A few blocks away, Bella stops and with our heads peeking out from the edge of an alleyway, we watch the car spark into flames against the night sky.

"Well, that was some idea."

"It worked, at least."

"It worked. Now we have to find another car, though."

"We will."

She smiles at me. "That was a neat trick."

"I guess we have to get innovative when it comes to entertaining ourselves," I comment with a shrug as we make our way back onto the street.

** A New Dawn **

Night falls as we reach D.C.. We drove through the night and the whole next day. Switching cars and drivers, time and time again. Bella's exhausted. I'm exhausted, but we're here. I thought she would be excited, and maybe the weariness is affecting that, but she just seems so… sad - sad and filled with nerves. I reach out to take her hand, holding it over the center console. I rub the tension out of her hand with my thumb, trying to get her to meet my gaze.

"Bella, whatever is going to happen, will happen. No amount of nerves will change the future."

"I know," she snaps before cringing at her own tone. "Sorry, it's just… what if it's bad news… or no news at all? I came all this way. _We_ came all this way and it could all be for nothing."

"Even if it were for nothing, I'm so thankful I was able to come on this journey with you."

Finally, she meets my gaze, her eyes wet with unshed tears. "I'm thankful for you, too. Without you… God, Edward, I'm not sure I could've done this. I know I'm strong, but you make me so much stronger."

Leaning across the console, I press my lips against hers. I take a moment to enjoy the feel of her and the blissful ignorance surrounding us right now. When she pulls away, that feeling evaporates and accepting our fate, we both look ahead. The large glass windows of the Center for Disease Control are daunting. I don't know how we'll make it inside, or how any of this will work out, but I'll try for the woman next to me. In the short time I've known her, I've already realized that I'd do anything for her. Grabbing her chin, I bring her lips to mine once more.

"We'll get through this, I promise," I tell her as I unlock the doors of the car.

 **A/N: They made it to the CDC! I think I'll post the final two chapters tomorrow. So, see you all tomorrow! Please review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17- Discovering the Truth**

 **60 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **BPOV:**

"What if we can't get inside?" he murmurs at my side, gazing up at the thick glass windows before us.

"We'll find a way. We have to."

We didn't come this far, and face so much, to give up now. We're so close I can taste victory on my tongue. Someone inside has to see us. Someone inside must want to help us. My mind is quickly overwhelmed with images of my husband and son, waiting for my return. They need me. They don't deserve to die - I have to save them. If I don't have hope, what do I have? In a bleak world such as this, our attitude seems to be the only thing we can control. Everyday, I choose to get up and fight. Fight back against the world which has betrayed us all; fight back against the virus that has changed the lives of so many. Am I so wrong for believing my husband and son are still alive in their bodies somewhere? I'm sure if I looked deep enough into the cloudiness of their eyes, I would find their souls lurking there, waiting to be saved. _No, I can't lose hope. Not now… not ever. Hope is all you have, Bella. It's all you need to get through this._

"We have to stay positive. There has to be a way."

Edward nods, but I can tell he isn't sure what to believe. Hell, underneath my own positive exterior, I'm lost, too. I've been lost for a very long time. If the bloodshed and killings hadn't been keeping my mind occupied, I don't know how dark my thoughts would be now. Ironic, I'm sure. Gore and violence kept me positive. Who would have imagined that? _Gore, violence, and the man beside me._ It's strange how quickly violence has become like a second nature - it's the only way to survive, after all. _Isn't it?_

"Maybe if we try to break in, someone will notice us," I continue, knowing this is the only plan I really have.

I had a million ideas in my mind, but now that we're here, standing in front of the building, and surrounded by nothing more than darkness, none of them seem possible anymore.

"Is that your Plan B, or was there a Plan A that I missed?"

I roll my eyes, frustrated with myself for believing this would be so easy. "Do you know a better way? I mean, look at this place, it's impenetrable… I have no idea what I was thinking," I say, defeated.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Frown like that. We didn't come this far for nothing. We're getting in. Let's just go ahead with your 'plan' and see where that takes us."

I nod, still feeling unsure.

"Stop that," Edward snaps, reaching to grab hold of my chin. Forcing me to meet his gaze he continues, "Remember who you're doing this for. Remember why this matters!"

He doesn't know everything - far from it - and still, he's willing to give up everything to try with me - for me… My eyes fill with tears as I look up at him, finding nothing but love, respect, and fierceness in his gaze. He wants this for me. He wants me to be happy, regardless of what it means for him. Guided by my heart, I raise to the tips of my toes and press my lips against his. They're soft, familiar, and just what I need. I breathe him in like his life force is my lifeline; the only thing keeping me sane. _Keep me sane through this, my life. Keep me sane._ My _life_? Has Edward become my life when I already have so much to live for? I don't know where my mind is - not anymore - but I know where my heart is, and it's with him. I don't forget about my family, I don't forget about Seth, but Edward's alive, _truly alive_ , living and breathing before me. He's real in a world full of things that seem to have been born from a nightmare. He's the only thing that tethers me to reality. He's the one constant I can rely on.

"Let's do this," I murmur before pressing my lips to his once more.

His hands cup my face, his lips working me over until I can barely breathe. We don't know what lies ahead of us. If we're able to get beyond these doors, we could be met with anything. Hopefully, one of those things will be the answer. What is this virus? Is there any hope for an end? Is there anyway to bring our loved ones back, or is all hope truly lost? When he pulls away, I choke on my breath, fear filling my body. I shouldn't be afraid, fear won't change the outcome. Still… I can't help the agitation that engulfs me. Now that the answer is so close, I'm no longer sure I want it. How nice it was to be blissfully ignorant… Once I learn the truth, there's no going back to that state. I'll have to live with it.

I watch Edward as he rolls up his sleeves and reaches for his handguns. I do the same, knowing gunshots, even if they don't harm the building, will draw attention. I give Edward one more meaningful look before I begin to fire. One shot after the other hits the windows; one shot after the other causes little to no damage, the bullets merely bounce off the glass. My eyes search the building, looking for some sign of life. Looking for someone who would be willing to help us. I find nothing; there isn't a single movement inside this place. Has everyone left… does that mean there's truly nothing to hope for at all… ? There has to be someone! _Anyone._ I continue to shoot, one bullet hitting the glass after another. Garnishing no response, I move forward, shooting the front door hoping that some camera is watching me, and that someone is watching that camera. Edward approaches the door, too, shooting along with me. I can feel his gaze on the back of my head, I wonder if he's just shooting to appease me, while inside, he's waiting for me to give up. _Stop thinking so negatively! You didn't come all this way to give up now! Keep firing!_

I lower my guns, and he does, too. "Do you think everyone has left?" I ask, cringing at how small my voice sounds.

"There has to be somebody inside there. Keep firing."

"What if it's no use?"

"Keep firing, Bella. There has to be somebody. Someone will see us and let us in."

I nod, turning back to the door and with both guns raised, I shoot. It feels good to shoot. Everytime the bullets hit the glass, it's a strange sort of release for me. I feel alive when I fire my guns. I feel invincible, like nothing in this new world could ever hurt me. When I fire off my last round, I move to reload, wondering how many more bullets I would be willing to waste on this damned building. _Maybe there's another way… Maybe if we could climb to the roof, we could get into the building from a roof access hatch._

"Do you have any rope in your backpack?"

I look back at Edward as his eyes widen before his gaze moves up the front of the building before us. It's a long shot, but it could be the only way. No one's responding to our gunfire, and if we want to get in, I don't know of any other another way. What we've been doing obviously isn't working. These windows are built to withstand a great deal of damage. I'm sure this whole building is… Truly, I don't know what I was thinking. I just listened to the radio, assuming someone would make it here before I did, and would already have a cure to this atrocity. However, it seems as though no one has made it here, and if they had, I'm guessing they had no luck getting past the doors before us. _Or maybe the others realized this idea was useless._

As Edward fumbles through the supplies in his backpack, I move to stand near the window, peering in at what's lies beyond the tempered glass. The scene before me causes me to nearly faint. There are people inside… what looks like families all lined up against one of the walls. Tears prick my eyes as I take in the blood splattered everywhere. Whatever happened here… God, I don't even want to think about what could have happened here. It's too horrible. However, my mind still wanders on its own accord. Was this some sort of mass suicide? Did they find that there was no other way, and this was their best option. A shaky hand comes up to my mouth to stifle my screams. I sob into my palm, my eyes moving across the people before me. So many different ages, different ethnicities, all coming together to put an end to their own lives. There mustn't be anything to hope for. If there were, why on Earth would these people be sitting on the floor with bullet wounds to the heads? Why would a mother kill her own children if they felt there was any other way?

"Bella?" Edward asks, approaching me.

"Don't look!"

"What is it?"

Before I can stop him, he stands beside me. "Holy fuck," he murmurs. "Why would they do this?"

Just as I'm about to answer him, I see a movement in my peripheral. From inside the building, someone is coming toward us with a gun in hand. From his appearance, he's a doctor, but from the look on his face, he's someone I'm not sure we can trust. Did he do this? Was this a mass suicide, or something far, far worse? Edward sees him too and stiffens at my side. He reloads his guns as I continue to watch the man coming toward us, my guns already loaded. I raise them when the man reaches for the controls by the door. He's letting us in, but with the horrors inside still at the forefront of my mind, I know going past these doors is no longer something I want.

As soon as the door is opened, the man raises his gun. All of a sudden, he looks more frightened than threatening. With pale skin, sunken blue eyes, and dark, unwashed hair, I wonder when was the last time this man saw daylight, tasted the fresh air. He looks so disheveled, so helpless. Looking at him now, I know he didn't kill those people. I can't be sure, but my gut instinct about this man isn't negative. He doesn't raise any alarm bells in my body. He looks like a victim… he looks like _us_.

"We don't need anymore visitors," he says to us, his voice monotone. "They've done enough damage to this place. There's nothing to see here."

"Please," I beg, lowering my weapons and stepping toward the man. "We've come all this way. We all heard you were working on a cure. It's been months. You must know something by now."

"We know as little now as we did when we first started researching."

"Is there someone else I can talk to? Someone who might have more information-"

"There's only me." He trembles as he looks at us. "Everyone has either left, or died here. There's only me."

"Please, there must be something you can tell us…"

"Do you see that group?" he asks, gesturing his gun to the scene I don't have the stomach to look at twice. "They came for the same reason you did. Someone amongst their group had the virus. They came seeking shelter and answers and I showed them… I showed them everything we'd learned and everything we knew. That's the fate they decided for themselves: death. They thought death would be the easier way out. They killed the young child who had the virus, then they killed each other. I didn't have the heart to stop them because I knew that deep down, they were making the right choice. There's nothing good in this world anymore. There is no known cure for this virus. Some of my colleagues left to go spend the time they had left with their families, some died here. I stayed. I was the only one with any hope in my heart, but not anymore. You can take my word for it and get out of here, or you can come inside. But if you come inside, I can't let you leave again. There's no exit once you cross this threshold. If this is what you want, this is the end of the road for you."

My feet move backwards, away from him and away from this place. We've come seeking answers and we've found none. _Well, you found answers, Bella, just not the answers you longed to hear._ There's no hope for my family, that much is clear now. And there's no hope for me if I go in there. Tears well in my eyes as I realize this fight of mine, and all the killings and all the bloodshed was for absolutely nothing. I was foolish to believe there would be any hope. I was foolish to come here thinking there was someway I could save my family. I was foolish for doing any of this.

"Is there anything you can tell us about the virus?" I mumble, my voice weak and pathetic. "Anything at all?"

He frowns at me, tired eyes filled with sympathy. "The virus isn't airborne. That's all we know. You have to be bitten to contract the virus. At least, that was how it was contracted in the cases we've studied. But I suppose any skin to skin contact could possibly contract it, as well." He looks over my shoulder, eyes widening as he takes in the hoard of zombies I hear coming toward us. "Look, are you coming in or not? I have to shut these doors."

"No. You've told us all we needed to know."

He nods, looking at us both with remorseful eyes. "Safe journeys," he comments before pulling the door shut.

"That's it then?" I question, turning to my companion. "After all that, that's it… I just can't believe it. We've wasted so much time."

"You got your answers."

"They weren't what I wanted. Edward… I wanted him to tell me this would all be okay. I wanted him to tell me there was a way to get my family back. But now… now I have nothing."

"You have me."

"I know," I reply, walking back to him and staring off into the distance at the zombies I know will soon surround us. "I shouldn't have hoped. Not in this world. In this world, there's nothing to hope for. Seth… I told my little boy I'd find a way to bring him back. Edward, there is no way. There's nothing I can do. I'm his mother - I'm supposed to be able to protect him from everything and I failed at doing that. I couldn't protect him. You should have seen his face. He was my little boy one second and the next, he wasn't. He barely recognized me when I said good-bye. Neither did Jake."

"Jake?"

"My husband. Seth bit him… they're both gone."

He comes to me and wraps his strong arms around my body. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"I wish sorrow could bring them back. God, I miss them. I wish-" I stop as a sob tears through my body. "I wish it could have been me. I would take their place without a second thought. I wish I was the one tied up right now. I wish I was the one without a future. Seth… Seth had his whole life ahead of him. He was so young, but he had so much talent. He was so smart, too, Edward. God, you would have loved him. He was the smartest little boy I'd ever met and he was all mine. I can't believe I brought someone as good and wonderful as him into this world."

"I do love him, Bella. I love him because he's yours. You are a great mother. Never doubt that."

"But I let him down."

"No, you didn't. You came all this way for him. He would have been proud of you. He _is_ proud of you. He and your husband. You loved them in a way so many people deserve to be loved, but never are."

I stare up at him, his eyes blazing with passion, lighting up the night sky. I love him. It's soon, but I know it's the truth. I can feel it with every ounce of my being. I've lost so much, but gained so much, too. As the zombies grow nearer, I wonder where we'll go from here. I have to say my final good-byes to my family, which means going back. I have to put an end to their suffering. I just want to hold Seth one last time. I want to tell them both how much I love them and how much I'll always love them. Until my last breath, I'll hold them in my heart.

"I want to go back to them, Edward. I want to say good-bye."

"Then we will. I'll come with you." Tightening me in his embrace, he adds, "I'll be with you until the end."

Looking at the zombies closing in on us, I comment, "And the end is not tonight."

** A New Dawn**

I fight with every fiber of my being. I fight until I can feel no more pain. I'm numb by the time the sun begins to rise and the final few zombies meet their end with the blade of my knife. I wipe away my tears, moving to stand at Edward's side. We're both covered in blood, staring at the aftermath of what we've done together. His hand reaches down to encompass mine, our fingers intertwined as we stare at the rising sun.

"Should we get going?" he asks, peering over his shoulder, staring back at our car.

"Let's rest a bit first. Then, we can get back on the road. Hopefully soon, I'll be able to say my good-byes."

"You're strong, Bella. Stronger than you probably understand."

"I don't know if I'll be strong enough to deal with this."

"When the time comes, we'll see. But I think you will."

"I love you, Edward. Do you know that?"

"I know. I love you, too."

Walking into the city, we find a place to stay for the afternoon. In an abandoned shop, I fall asleep in Edward's arms, basking in the warmth of his embrace. We make love on the dusty floor and I cry the entire time, knowing that soon, my life will never be the same. I'm saying farewell to one chapter of my life, and moving onto the next and I'm not sure if I'm ready. I search my heart for the strength I need and find it in abundance. They're suffering, and if I keep them alive, I'm doing it because I'm too selfish to let go. I have to free them. By freeing them, I'm freeing myself.

As we begin our journey back, I watch the city fade away from my passenger side window. _Things will get better soon. They have to… don't they?_

 **A/N: One more chapter and then the story is complete! Thanks for reading everyone! Please, please review!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks for coming along on this journey with me! This story was so much fun to write. I got the idea while watching Damsel; I sat in the theatre thinking, "what if he had Bella along to help him find the woman he loves," and built the story idea around that. Just want to say a huge thanks to my two wonderful betas, Sherry and Paige, who were quick to edit every single chapter for you guys! I also want to thank anyone who took the time to read this! I know zombie fics aren't the most popular, so thanks for giving the story a try! I hope you all enjoy this final chapter! After this, I'll be back to work on Rodeo Nights, My Blessing (fanfic and original fic for publishing), and A Rogue's Desire. Hopefully I can finish those by the end of this year!**

 **-Lizzie**

" _I'm coming up only to hold you under_

 _I'm coming up only to show you wrong_

 _And to know you is hard, we wonder_

 _To know you, all wrong we were_

 _At every occasion, I'll be ready for the funeral_

 _Every occasion, once more, it's called the funeral_

 _Every occasion, know I'm ready for the funeral_

 _Every occasion, oh, one billion-day funeral."_

 _-Band of Horses-_

 **Chapter 18- Free**

 **65 Days After the National Outbreak**

 **EPOV:**

The closer we get to New Mexico, the more quiet she becomes. I don't force her to speak, although, I wish she would for my sake. It's been a long journey back to her home, filled with days of horror and nights of pain. My heart goes out to her. Hell, she owns my heart now. _Entirely_. I don't know if the new circumstances of this world brought us together, but I love her now like I love myself. I feel like she's been with me my whole life. And perhaps a part of her has. God, I wish I'd known her before all this. What I wouldn't give to see her carefree, smiling face in the light of the summer. What I wouldn't give to see those beautiful eyes before she became so irreversibly damaged.

"We're on empty again," I murmur, reaching to hold her hand over the center console.

She nods, and quietly unbuckles her seatbelt as I roll to a stop. She lets go of my hand as she steps wordlessly out of the car, looking out at the landscape she's obviously familiar with. I watch her as she stares out at the scenery, breathing it all in like this is the very last time she'll see any of it. Perhaps it is. Maybe after we do what we've come here to do, she'll want nothing more to do with this place. I don't blame her. She's saying good-bye to her loved ones; she's moving on to the next chapter of her life. What could be more stressful than that? Especially when the next chapter takes place in such a horrific world. A world that's unforgiving and unwelcoming of everything and everyone in it. A world where hope is scarce and faith is almost impossible to come by. With nothing to guide us, everything feels so bleak. Bella is the only light in this world for me, and I believe I'm her only light, as well.

 _God, I love her,_ I think as I watch the sun shines down on her chocolate hair, showing off the many red hues I never knew existed. She's so beautiful… so pure. Such a contrast to the life around us. When I feel I'm ready, I grab our stuff and slide out of the car, parting ways with yet another vehicle.

"Let's walk through the city," she insists, pointing to the small town ahead.

"Do you need anything else? We got more supplies yesterday."

"There's a few things. Maybe there's a gas station ahead. We could see if there's any gasoline."

The hope in her eyes takes my breath away. I nod, following her lead as we venture into town. She's quick on her feet, more enthusiastic than she has been lately. While I don't know what inspired it, I'm happy to see it. She must know where she's headed because low and behold, there is a gas station on the town's edge. We've managed to find a few on our journey, but never had much luck with them. It seemed like all the other survivors always got to them first. Luckily, Bella manages to find some cans of gasoline hidden away in a cabinet.

"Perfect, we can fill-up the car and be on our way."

"I wasn't thinking of the car," she says, shifting back and forth on her feet. "I was thinking to… say good-bye. We can walk the rest of the way, if that's okay? My home isn't too far."

My brows knit together in confusion, but I don't comment. She knows what she wants and I'm just here to support her. I follow her back into the unforgiving heat, staying a pace behind her as she moves down the road. She's determined. Considering what's ahead, I would be, too.

She's shaking in front of me, looking so incredibly small against the harsh scenery surrounding us. I jog to catch-up with her determined stride and wrap my arm around her shoulder. I feel her small body shiver against mine, and I know she's terrified.

"Bella, baby, we can stop for a second if you need to."

She nods just before her body gives out against mine. Her knees weaken just before she falls to the ground. I go down with her, holding her in my arms as she sobs into the collar of my shirt. She feels so fragile like this, so young… I hold her until her cries become whimpers, never letting her go.

"I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can let them go…" she sobs against me.

"You can. You're so strong, Bella. Remember who you're doing this for." She shakes her head, wiping the snot away from her nose before looking up at me. "You are strong. You're so strong that I can barely wrap my mind around it. Stop doubting yourself. Your family needs you."

"I promised them," she whispers.

"You promised them," I repeat.

She nods again and I can feel her grow stronger in my arms. "I can do this," she says before bending her head down to kiss my chest. I take hold of her chin, bringing her gaze up to meet mine. I kiss her with all the passion my tired body can muster. Her lips taste of her tears and are still chapped due to the days spent under the smoldering sun, but I pay it no mind. She feels perfect to me… she _is_ perfect to me. Looking back at my past relationships, I realize none of those women match the woman before me. I've never felt this way about anyone before and I'll spend the rest of my life making sure the woman in my arms knows this. She's damaged, and will be even more so after today, but I'll help her heal. Or, I'll at least try. I'll make sure we'll forever honor their memory, but I'll make sure she's happy, too. I want to wake-up to her bright, content face every morning and I want to feel her in my arms every night. Is that too much to hope for? Am I deluding myself about all of this? After today I'll understand her pain and hopefully, I'll be able to help carry its weight with her.

I help her rise to her feet, kissing her once more before taking her hand in mine, threading our fingers. "Lead the way," I murmur, hoping she'll find the strength to keep going.

She does. One small step after another, we make our way to her home.

 ****A New Dawn****

The house before us looks like it was once picturesque. Despite the broken windows, shredded door, and demolished garden, it's strangely beautiful. Perhaps that's due to the fact that this house was once Bella's home. Tearing my eyes away from the red bricks, I focus my gaze on the woman next to me. Tears swim in the depths of her chocolate eyes as she breathes everything in. I want to touch her, provide her with the physical comfort I know she needs, but upon seeing the look in her eyes, I resist. The cans of gasoline shake in her clenched hands as she takes in the scene before her.

"Let's be done with this," she murmurs as she takes a step toward the front door.

Hesitantly, I follow behind her, stopping at the brink as I hear the noises from within. The growling sounds coming from beyond the entrance of the home flood my senses. Bella walks on, never wavering as she follows the light at the end of the darkest of hallways. The sounds grow louder as we carry forth. The sunlight through the windows becomes almost blinding, and the sound becomes nearly unbearable. She pauses for a moment, shifting back and forth on her feet before setting the gas cans down on the dusty floor. Peering over her shoulder, she glances at me through the locks of her hair, almost using its thick mass as a shield from me. Despite her efforts, I can see the tears swimming in her eyes.

"I can't look," she whispers.

Bones creaking and jaws grinding are the only noises that fill the air as we stare at each other, both knowing exactly what we're going to find in the next room. Slowly, I move one foot forward, testing the waters as I gauge her reaction. We can do this together. She's strong, but it's clear she can't do this alone. _Who could?_ Who could say good-bye to their family forever? After today, there's nothing left for her here. After today, it truly is farewell. Nothing will be as it once was. With the world already being so unrecognizable, this task becomes even more daunting.

"I'll go with you." I reach forward, covering her hand with mine. "We'll do this together."

"I don't think I can…"

"They need you, Bella. They need you to free them."

Reaching out, I catch a tear just as it makes its way down her flushed cheek. Her mouth twitches and for a moment, she looks strangely hopeful. I stand with her, giving her a moment to collect herself.

"You should have seen him," she murmurs, so quietly I wonder if she's talking to herself. "He was so beautiful… so smart. I used to think I'd mess him up some how. Every night when I put him to bed, I would check his ten fingers and ten toes just to make sure he was all in check. He always was. He was always so perfect. Sometimes, I'd wonder if I'd be the woman I am today if it weren't for him. He inspired me every day… and knowing the light is gone from his eyes and it will never come back… God, I don't know if I can face him. I just want my little boy back. I just want my husband. I want them to be safe. Every night I wonder why they couldn't have taken me. Why take Seth?"

Pulling away from me, she takes a step forward toward the lightened doorway. Wrapping her arms around herself, she ventures into the next room. As I follow her, tears fill my own eyes as I take in the sight before me. There they are, at the kitchen table, waiting for her. She crosses the room to kneel beside the frantic body of a very little boy. His jaw chomps at her, but she looks at him as if he were the most beautiful thing in the world. And to her, I'm sure he is. He's her guiding light - her everything.

"Seth, Mommy came back, just like she promised," she says, speaking softly to him. He doesn't respond to her in any way, but she continues speaking to him. My heart breaks as she places her hands on his, which are restrained against the dining room chair. The skin on his wrists has been ripped to shreds, probably due to him pulling at his restraints. "Everything is going to be all right now. You don't have to suffer anymore-" A sob racks her body. "I love you, buddy. And even when you're not here, you'll always be with me. Mommy will carry you in her heart forever. I promise." Bringing her right hand to her mouth, she kisses the tips of her fingers and blows the kiss to her son. "I love you."

She stares at her son for a moment, her gaze meeting his cloudy eyes. He doesn't see her; he doesn't feel her; he doesn't sense her... he doesn't know her. He's no longer her little boy, and she understands that. Acceptance washes across her face as she rounds the table to her husband. I wonder what he was like before all of this. Did he love the girl before him just as much as I do? I watch as she says her good-byes. She presses a kiss to her fingers and then presses her fingers to his heart, telling him "I love you" one more time before returning to me.

"I'm ready now."

She moves to get the cans of gasoline, intending to set her home aflame. It's easier that way. She can say good-bye to all of it at once.

"Can you give me a moment?"

A confused look colors her expression before she nods. "I'll be outside," she whispers, reaching forward to give my hand a gentle squeeze. With a sad smile, she leaves me alone, walking out of her home for the final time.

As soon as I no longer hear her footsteps, I cross the room and kneel next to her son. As I look at his face, I imagine what he once looked like. Beyond the deterioration, I can tell he was a handsome little guy - I can tell he looked very much like his mother.

"I'll watch out for your mommy. I promise to do everything to keep her safe. She was lucky to have you, Seth. Just from the way she talks about you… the way she calls out for you in her sleep… I can tell she loves you very much."

I look at him for a moment longer before rising to my feet, turning my attention to her husband - the man who loved her and provided for her. The respect I have for him overwhelms me. I wonder if he died protecting his wife. With a clenched jaw and misty eyes, I approach him for a moment, wishing I could take his place. I wish I could take both of their places. I'd do it in a heartbeat if it meant a lifetime of happiness for the woman I love.

"I'll take care of Bella. As long as I'm alive, she'll be safe."

For her family, I'll keep her safe for as long as I can. Feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I leave the house, wishing there was something more I could do. She's outside waiting for me. Sitting on the grass, staring up at the house as the sun begins to set around it. I join her, and hold her hand as I remain quiet at her side.

"What did you say?"

"I wanted them to know I would protect you. I wanted Seth to know his mother was safe."

She smiles but looks broken as tears run down her cheeks. "Thank you." Suddenly, she stands up and peers down at me. "I'm ready now. If I don't end this for them now, I never will. I can't let their suffering continue. I've been selfish long enough."

 **** A New Dawn****

From our spot on the grass, we watch her house burn. Sparks fly off the brick like fireworks sparking against the night sky. Soon, it will be nothing but ash. Darkness falls around us but the fire continues to illuminate her face. The light reflects in her eyes, shining like ambers. As time ticks on, she allows her body to relax against the grass, finally allowing the weight of her family to be lifted from her shoulders. Although her eyes are forlorn, her energy is peaceful.

"They're happy now," she whispers into the night. Her eyes watch the stars as she continues, "Wherever they are, I'm sure they're happy now. They're at peace. They're not here…"

Soon, we'll have to fight again. Soon, this peaceful moment will be flushed away. As I sit up and take in the world around us - the world that is falling apart - I wonder if they truly were the lucky ones. Perhaps surviving is the real curse.

"We should leave when you're ready. We need to find shelter for the night."

She nods, standing from her comfortable pose on the ground. For a moment, she doesn't utter a word, allowing her gaze to captivate mine. "Thank you for this."

"Of course. Thank you for being the person I can survive with."

She smiles at this. It's a small smile, but it gives me hope that one day I'll see the glowing smile I frequently have in my dreams of her. I rise from the grass and help her up and after one final glance, we turn our backs on her burning house, although, it will forever be in both of our hearts and minds.

Making our way through the forgotten neighborhood, we keep our eyes peeled for a car. The effort seems hopeless until we reach the end of a line of houses and find one car that's been forgotten. I open the front door as Bella shoots the two dead inside. She cleans the car as I bring it back to life. As soon as the engine revs, we both breathe a sigh of relief.

"Can you drive? I'm so tired."

"Of course."

Sliding into the driver's seat, I grip the wheel and glance at the woman beside me, who's already posed to stare out the window for our trip. I tap the steering wheel with my thumbs as I consider which direction we should be heading. For the first time since the outbreak, I don't have a single place in mind. It feels almost freeing, having nowhere to be. The world is ours now. _Well, what's left of it._

"Where do you want to go, Bella?"

She stares out the window for a moment, calculating before she turns to me with an easy look in her eyes. "Someplace beautiful. If it's the last thing I do, I want to see someplace beautiful."

I nod as I begin to drive. The image of a familiar desert comes to mind. I don't tell her where we're heading, but she doesn't ask. Instead, she stares out the window, reminding me very much of a small child sitting shotgun for the first time. It's hard to keep my eyes on the road with her at my side. I know she's far more beautiful than any scenery we'll see today. With her around, the most majestic parts of the world are bleak in comparison. I know wherever we go, she'll be all I see.

When we reach the desert, she's the only thing that captivates me. As the sun begins to rise, I roll our second car of the night to a park. She's eager to get out, and I'm eager to watch her excitement. The sun dances over the peaks of sand dunes before us. She gasps, spellbound by the sight. She watches the sun as I watch her. I stand back, breathing in the crisp morning air. _When was the last time I felt so normal… so free?_

"I love this," she whispers, still entranced by her surroundings.

"I love you," I murmur, wondering if she can hear me.

In darkness, I found her. Perhaps this world isn't as cruel and unforgiving as I thought. In this hell, I found my heaven. Walking up to meet her, I take her hand in mine. She's quiet for a long time. The silence is beautiful because we don't need words - we just need this moment. Squeezing my hand, she replies to my earlier statement, so quietly I wonder if I've just imagined it.

"I love you," she repeats, "and we'll make it through this. Today is a new dawn for a new day."

 _Today is a new day._ Each morning will be a fresh start. We'll find shelter; we'll find companions; we'll find a way to cope with everything we've lost. Maybe not today, but someday. Someday in the future everything will be all right. But now, all we can do is worry about today. And today, all I want to do is think about her: the woman who is so much stronger than she could ever imagine. This is a new dawn - yesterday is behind us. Each morning when we wake-up, we should feel lucky. We made it through another night - we have another chance.

I don't know how many mornings we have left together, so I'll make every one of them count. For the first time since the outbreak, I want to live - truly _live_ \- and it's all because of her. I smile at her, watching the sunlight dance through her hair as she remains still beside me. This is my future. _She_ is my future. The world can turn to dust around us as long as I have her. And I will have her… the woman who is my sunrise after perpetual night.

 **The End**


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